


parallel universe #1953

by herilaveur



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:41:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23012692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: Lucas at 17. His mother can no longer take care of him so he leaves Paris to live with his aunt in the country.New life, new school...what if Lucas is the new guy?
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 37
Kudos: 138





	1. Changes

Sometimes Lucas wonders what would happen if we could go back in time and make other choices. Would his life really be different? His parents would have made the same choices. Maybe then he wouldn't exist. Or maybe he would still be living with them. He's lying on his bed in his new room. This room, he knows it by heart. Since he was a little boy, it's been his room when he comes to his aunt's house. The difference is that now he actually lives there.

He thinks back to his childhood. He grew up in Paris with his parents and his little sister, Clementine. His life was not too bad, until his father decided to start a new family two years ago. Since then, his mother's troubles have continued to intensify. Her mother is schyzophrenic. She was diagnosed five years ago. But since his dad's been gone, it's gotten really bad. Last month, she tried to kill herself. Clementine found her lying on the bathroom floor with empty prescription bottles next to her. She's been in a mental hospital ever since. Their aunt decided to take them at home, judging that at 15 and 17 years old they could not live alone in Paris. 

  
Actually, Lucas is pretty relieved. He didn't really have any friends at his high school. He was kind of a loner. they say he's withdrawn,secretive...and he's okay with it. Because he's got a big secret that's keeping him from living life to the fullest,that's true.

So they went to live with their aunt, Marie, in a remote village in Bretagne. She's been living on an old farm since she got married. There are 6 rooms, so Clem and Lucas have always had their own. When they were little, they used to come and stay with her for a whole month on holiday. Their cousin, Benjamin has been studying in Nantes for 2 years and their cousin, Daphnée is 6 months older than Lucas. He will know at least one person in high school.

Their uncle, Romain, says that everyone here knows each other anyway and that Lucas will soon make new friends and everything will be fine. He is a airplane pilot, and Lucas likes him much more than his father. When they arrived, he was flying but a postcard was waiting on Lucas' bed. He guessed right away it was his way of saying he was there for him. Lucas put it on his bedside table, and every morning he read _When everything seems to be against you, remember that the plane takes off facing the wind and not with it._

6 km from the house, there is an abandoned lighthouse that Lucas loves. He found out when he was 12. No one knows he's going there, everyone would say it's too dangerous. But it's his favorite place on earth. Climbing the stairs, he feels like he's alone in the world. So when he comes here, he can be himself. He can be silent or he can let his anger out. He can cry or laugh. He can be himself.

Today, alone, clinging to the railing of the lighthouse, he lets himself go and cries: about his father, whom he hates, about his mother, who's in a bad way and feels abandoned, about his shitty life, about going back to school tomorrow, about himself. 

And then a voice, right behind him, startled him.

"It's a nice view, isn't it?"

Lucas stumbles and almost falls. Two big hands catch him just in time. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

The voice of the boy watching Lucas is just beautiful. But Lucas still can't look at him so he stares at the bottom of his brown jacket. 

''Sorry, I thought I was the only one coming here'' said the boy quietly.

"I thought I was the only one, too." Lucas' voice is drier than he'd like. He's trying to quietly dry his last tears. He hates the thought of anyone seeing him like that. So exposed.

"Are you okay? I was looking down at you and you sounded so bad, I was afraid you were gonna jump."

Lucas can't stop looking at him. His face, so beautiful, looks really worried. He's taller than Lucas. Strands of brown hair are coming out of his hood as he looks down at him, obviously waiting for his answer.  
  
''You can be sad without being suicidal. I come here to be alone and to think. I wish I could go on."

His eyes narrow, but he smiles softly. 

''Maybe I could help you think. I'm Eliott."

And he pulls a joint out from behind his ear, safe under his hood. Lucas smiles, in spite of himself. He nods his head and sits down, letting his legs dangle across the security fence. Lucas watches him light the joint before imitating him, leaving an empty space between them.

'Not too stressed for tomorrow.?'' he ends up asking as he passes the joint.

''Maybe a little bit.. I guess everybody knows that around here?"

He whistles and then laughs.

''Sure. Two new guys in a village of 100 people, you'd think everybody's talking about you."

Lucas feels himself shrinking on the spot. He wanted so badly to make a fresh start without being _the son of the crazy woman_.

''Pfff, I just want to be left alone and not be reminded of that all the time. I just want to live a life that's just a little bit normal."

He didn't even realize he was talking out loud until he heard Elliot's voice.

''Okay. I get it. Don't worry, nobody's gonna talk to you about it again."

Lucas can't help but smile at Eliott. Like he can stop people from talking. That is so cute. _He is cute._ His brain is shutting down. He can't think like that. 

''But of course. Well, I gotta go" Lucas says as he gets back up on his feet.

Eliott looks up so he can look Lucas. Lucas falls in Elliot's eyes. His are green. Or blue. Or light brown. Lucas couldn't really tell.

"See you tomorrow then... " 

"Surely." Lucas said quickly as he opened the door to the inside of the lighthouse.

"Actually, I was waiting for you to tell me your name."

Lucas acts like he didn't hear and descends the steps of the lighthouse. When he reaches the bottom, he opens the door and comes face to face with a motorcycle. 

A red Kawasaki ER5, which seems to have already done quite a few kilometers but is still impeccable. Lucas loves the motorcycle. His father took him for the first time when he was 10 years old. He immediately felt free. He liked it right away. They used to leave together on Saturdays, just to ride. It was their moment. Lucas was enjoying this moment of freedom, dreaming of the day when he could finally drive, alone, following his father's motorcycle with his own. But since three years, he never got back on a motorcycle. His father started to go off on his own, leaving Lucas with his mother and sister, claiming that his mother could not stay alone. And one day when Lucas came home from school, he realized that the motorcycle was gone. His father had sold it.  
  
While putting his hands in his pockets, Lucas starts walking, thinking back to that encounter. He sees Eliott's face again, as if it was in front of him. He thinks he would never forget him even if he wanted to. He must have made quite an impression on him: a cantankerous suicidal guy. Well, too bad. He always makes a bad first impression. That's why he's always alone. Lucas can imagine for two seconds what his life would be like if he got a fresh start tomorrow. If he let himself be. And then he remembers that his cousin goes to the same high school as him and he remembers that's impossible. He can't be himself. 

He's halfway there when it starts raining. Within two minutes, Lucas is soaking wet from head to toe. That's when a noise makes him jump. Lucas doesn't have time to look behind him as the red motorcycle passes him slowly before stopping right in front of him and Eliott hands him a helmet. 

"Hop on, I'm taking you home."

Lucas is hesitating. He is about to refuse when Eliott grabs his wrist.

''Come on, Lucas."

Lucas smiles when he hears Eliott pronounce his first name. Of course he knew his name. Everyone knows who he is in this village. Lucas grabs the helmet and gets on the motocycle. What a pleasure to get that feeling again. While the motocycle riding, Eliott grabs Lucas' hands and wraps them around his chest. And there, Lucas realizes that he is with Eliott. For a moment, he thought he was behind his father. Tears flow under his helmet. When he arrives at his aunt's house, Lucas is covered in tears. He thanks Eliott without looking at him and takes refuge inside. 

Once dry in his room, he prepares his bag for tomorrow while drying his last tears. Tomorrow will be his first day at his new school. That's when the door to his room opens on the fly, revealing a brunette girl with blue wicks who enters his room at ease.

''Are you really going to wear that red sweater tomorrow? Don't you have a blue top, would it look better with your eyes? I hope you're not crying about the first day of school. It's really not worth it."

Lucas looked at him with wide-eyed eyes.

"Uh... who the hell are you?"

The girl laughed and pressed up against Lucas, very uncomfortable with this physical contact. 

"Oh, sorry, I'm Alexia."

"Ah, Daphne's best friend, right?"

"Yes, that's me. I live in the house next door. If you need help picking out clothes or you want to have some fun, just let me know."

"Alexia, stop bothering my cousin," said daphne as she popped into lucas' room.

''Oh, don't worry, Daph, I'm not bothering him. I just wanted to meet your famous cousin."  
  
''Nice to meet you too. Hearing about you and never seeing you when I came here, I thought you didn't exist."

"Or maybe I am a ghost. Or maybe my parents just make me go to my grandmother's house to keep her company over the holidays. Anyway, Lucas, it's nice to finally meet you. And don't wear that top tomorrow, it's awful."

Alexia comes out, closing Lucas' door behind her. He looks down at her red sweater and smiles. He puts it away in his closet and takes out his favourite sweater: a grey one with the letters ROMANCE written in white. 

The awakening surprises Lucas in the middle of a nightmare and he is relieved that he didn't have time to finish this horrible dream.

At 7:20 am, Lucas waits for the school bus with Clem and Daphne. This is the first time Lucas takes the school bus. The bus arrives early, and it's quiet when they get on.   
A curly-haired brown boy waves to Daphne but she ignores him completely and sits on an empty seat, saving room for Alexia.  
Lucas sits right behind her.  
Just as the bus is about to close the doors, Alexia slips inside, her coat in one hand and her breakfast in the other. 

The bus just starts and the boy who was greeting Daphne comes and sits next to Lucas and offers him his hand.

"Hi, I'm Basile."

Lucas looks at him and as he gives him back his handshake, he remembers that he saw him at Daphne's birthday party last year.

"I'm Lucas."

Basile chuckles a laugh and looks at him and smiles.

''I know. What are you listening to, buddy?"

And Basile starts talking, like he's known Lucas his whole life. He's so simple and sweet that Lucas relaxes and they listen to a few tunes.

Two stops later, Lucas sees him waiting for the bus before he gets on it. Eliott. He was expecting him to go to class on his motorcycle. But he didn't. He's right there. And he goes up the alley, stopping next to Basile to greet Lucas, throwing his best smile at him before going to sit down in the middle seat in the back row, as if this seat was reserved for him. Which it probably is. 

"Wait..." said Basile, visibly impressed. "Are you friends with Eliott Demaury?"

Lucas looks surprised and responds softly.

''No, I met him yesterday. Why?"

''He's the high school bad boy. He's so cool. Everybody dreams about going out with him. And since he dates girls and guys, he's just so full of choices. But, no, he's the hottest guy in school, and he's single. If I was gay, I'd dream about going out with him."

Lucas nearly chokes on his own spit and then he starts coughing.

''What? What did I just say? "Do you see how handsome he is?"

Lucas turns around slowly as if to check, but he knows he doesn't need to check. If he could draw, he could reproduce Elliot's face just from yesterday's memory. But he's terrible at drawing.

"He's all right." Let go of Lucas real easy.

''He's more than all right. Even though I like girls, I can tell a good-looking guy when I see one.''

"I guess."

''And you're not bad yourself, Lucas. The girls are gonna love you. And you can't compete with me. I'm on Daphne.'' Basile laughs.

''Except that I'm not interested at all" replies Daphne from the seat in front of them before laughing with Alexia.

"It will come," Basile whispers to Lucas. 

Lucas chuckles softly. Basile is so sure of himself that it's touching.

Lucas slowly turns his head from his seat, to cross Eliott's gaze on him before making Basile listen to another song. If only Lucas could be as sure of himself as Basile, life would be easier.


	2. First day

After 35 minutes of endless curves and villages, they arrive in the big city of the corner ... 5OOO inhabitants. But the high school is rather nice, it's just restored.   
The bus parks on the side of a big square and everybody gets off. In fact, the group splits in two: the middle schoolers and the high schoolers.

Daphne, Alexia and Basile go back up the road to the high school with Lucas. Basile jumps into the arms of a blond man, calling him his Bro, then introduces Arthur to Lucas. The girls leave them as they chat in the middle of the courtyard and soon a tall black guy with frizzy hair and a friendly smile joins them. His name is Yann and he's also in first science class. Lucas immediately feels part of their group. Yann goes out with Emma, another friend of Daphne's. Basile has been trying to go out with Daphne for years, but he is constantly rejected. Lucas briefly wonders if he has gotten closer to him so that he can be closer to her cousin. 

Since there is only one class in each specialty, all four of them are in the same class. No one looks at Lucas weird, no one talks to him about his mother. Guys talk to him about classes, teachers, high school life. Basile introduces him to the teachers with a lot of anecdotes, which makes him laugh a lot.

At 6 p.m., as he's walking to the bus stop, Basile grabs his hand. He writes his cell phone number on his forearm. He has to go to the driving school but wants Lucas to text him tonight to talk about Friday night. 

"Say Baz," Lucas asks for Lucas while Basile writes his number down. "Are you just talking to me to get closer to Daphne?"

Basil finishes and clogs his pencil, looking all upset.

"No, Mr. Idiot. I'm just glad there's a cool new student in that school where nothing ever happens." Basil approaches Lucas to keep his voice down ''And my mom's in trouble, too. I know what it's like. I thought it might be cool to help you fit in."

Lucas looks at him smiling and mumbles a "Thank you."

And then Basil goes back to that happy face and that funny smile, "Besides, I definitely don't need your help. Daphne's crazy about me."

Daphne hits her on the back of the head before she gets on the bus and says, "Stop dreaming."

"See," Basil confirms with a raised eyebrow, "follow me, I'm running away from you."

"It's not _running away from me, am I following you_?" laughed Lucas as he greeted him.

When Lucas gets on the bus, he sees his sister sitting next to a girl from his class. They talk so much that they don't even see him get on. 

"Hey Lucas, come on."

Eliott makes grand gestures. His seat in the back of the bus is empty while he's sitting in a double booth. Lucas will sit next to him. Eliot tells him about his teachers and his classes and asks lots of questions about Lucas' day. The bus tour being a mirror copy of the morning tour, Lucas gets off after 10 minutes. When he sees his aunt's house, Lucas is about to get up when Eliott leans over to his ear.

"See, I told you your first day would go well. I'm watching over you." 

His words hang in Lucas' head. Is he the one who convinced everyone to pretend to like me? Was it a facade? 

Daphne grabs Lucas' arm as he gets off the bus.

''So, you're talking to eliott demaury, are you?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles, not really knowing what to say.

"Watch out, Lucas," she says, suddenly serious, "don't let him talk you into anything stupid."

He takes advantage of his aunt's arrival to help him bring the groceries home.

''It's your first day and you come back with a phonenumber on your arm?'' asks his aunt, raising her eyebrows.

Lucas looks at her arm and laughs.

''So ? "Girl or boy?" his aunt asks, putting away the fridge. 

Lucas freezes on the spot. She must notice because she turns around to look at him. 

"You know, we take all the answers around here."

"He's just a friend" Lucas says quickly. "It's Basile. I've joined his gang. That's cool."

"That's cool" Marie repeats before closing the fridge. "Basile is nice. He's been in love with your cousin since kindergarten. And I think she likes him, even though she'll deny it."

"I think so, too." laughs Lucas as he sets the table. 

After dinner, Lucas runs into the shower and sees Basil's number on his arm. He records it and erases it underwater. Sitting on his bed, he sends him a message. He immediately finds himself in a conversation called "the gang" and for two hours they discuss the party planned at Emma's house on Friday to celebrate the new school year. 

His alarm clock startled Lucas and he had to hurry to get ready and be on time for the bus but at least he didn't have any nightmares last night.  
He gets on the bus but Basile's not there. At 7:30 am, Eliott gets on the bus and comes to sit directly next to Lucas. He smells so good, a mix of vanilla and coconut.

"Hello Lucas, can you hear me?" Eliott asks, passing his hand in front of Lucas' face.

It pulls him out of his thoughts.

''What? No, sorry, I was just thinking."

''What were you thinking? About me, I hope?" laughs Eliott.

But that doesn't make Lucas laugh.

''I was wondering how you manipulate people.''

The smile fades on Elliot's face.

"What? What did I do?"

"Did you ask everyone to pretend to care about me?"

Elliot seems touched. 

''What? Not. I just asked that nobody talk to you about your family, that's all. I just wanted to make you feel good."

''Why? We don't even know each other"

''Cause Sunday you cry in the lighthouse so hard in the lighthouse that I didn't want it to happen again.''

Lucas is feeling uncomfortable. He's not used to being taken care of. 

''Okay. So, I wasn't crying. Its' clear?'' Lucas takes it back.

"No, of course not." Ironically, Elliott says.

''Boys don't cry,'' confirms Lucas.

''I'm crying.'' Simply says Elliot, provoking a silence between them ''And I want to do everything I can to make you stop crying."

''Ah... I didn't know you were the knight of the lost heart.'' Lucas ironically adds.

Eliott looks him straight in the eye and leans in to whisper.

''Just yours. And if your IS free, I'll take it without hesitation."

At that moment, the bus barely avoids a car by braking hard. Lucas bumps his forehead in the seat in front of him. He turns his head towards Elliot and crosses his eyes. Eliott raises his hand to caress the point of impact on Lucas' forehead and... the bus pulls over. 

Lucas almost jumps over Eliott's legs to get down at a high speed and runs into the toilet to put he mind at ease.   
When the bell rings, he is startled. Water runs down his face and I walk down the corridor towards room 2B for the philosophy class. Basile arrives at the same time, in front of the closed door.

''I missed the bus, so I had to ride my bike. What the hell are you doing?"

"I hit the seat of the bus when it hit the brakes, I was in the bathroom cleaning my forehead."

Basil looks at Lucas' forehead and starts laughing.

''It used to happen to me all the time when I was a kid. Don't worry, it happened to all of us."

Basil looks at him and frowns.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Lucas doesn't have time to answer that the door opens to Mrs. Duscatel, the philosophy teacher. They go back to their seats apologizing. 

Lucas doesn't see Eliott all day, which isn't surprising, because Eliott is a senior and they don't share the same classrooms. 

  
Lucas gets so lost in his thoughts that he takes a wrong turn in the hallways of the high school when he comes out of the last class. By the time he finds his way back, the bus has already left. Without him. He's sure that his sister didn't even realize it and feels a bit abandoned once again.  
He doesn't even try to call his aunt, he knows she's at work at that hour. So he takes the shortest route. He calculates quickly, he'll be an hour and a half if he walks fast.

He must have been walking for 30 minutes when Elliot's motorcycle almost hit him when he parked in front of him.

''Sorry, sorry'' says Elliot ''I thought you saw me. Come on up."

Lucas grabbed the helmet that Eliott handed him and jumped on the motorcycle without hesitation. When Elliot leaves the main road, he doesn't have to ask him where they're going. He already knows where they're going. 

They climb the steps of the lighthouse in silence and sit in the same seats as on Sunday.

"What were you doing in the city?" finally asks Lucas, looking at the horizon.

Eliott lights the joint he just rolled and smiles.

"I was coming to get you."

Lucas turns to him so fast, his neck hurts. 

"What?"

And Eliott hands him the joint with a shrug and a shrug.

''You missed the bus. You'll learn that drivers never wait for stragglers. I didn't want you to walk home on foot."

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

"I could have walked."

And Elliot starts laughing.

"You're welcome." He waves to Lucas to stop. "Oh, no, stop. Your gratitude is killing me."

"Shut up, idiot." Lucas laughs. He takes a whiff and then passes the joint back to Eliott. "Thank you, Eliott, but don't worry about me, I can take care of myself."

Eliott makes three rings of smoke and then dives into Lucas' eyes.

"What if I want to take care of you?"

Lucas turns to the horizon and sighs. He doesn't know what to say. And Eliott's phone breaks the silence with a horrible sound.

''Yes, Mom. No, Mom. Yes, I know. No, it was after school. Lucas missed the bus, so I went to pick him up. Yes, he did. I'm at his house. I promise, mom. Okay. Love you too."

Lucas looks at Elliot and laughs. 

''I didn't see you as a mama's boy.'' He says smiling.

Eliot shrugs his shoulders.

''It's just the two of us. She means everything to me. She left everything for me and my... Anyway, I owe her a lot. I've caused her a lot of trouble, so I try to keep my nose clean when I can."

Lucas isn't saying anything, but he'd like to know more. 

''She wanted to know why I took the motorcycle on a school day. I'm only allowed to ride on weekends, normally. But I said it was because of you, so she didn't say anything."

"Wait" cut's Lucas "Your mother know who I am?"

Elliot nods his head and Lucas wonders if it's his imagination or not but it looks like Elliot's cheeks are slightly pinkish. 

"I forgot" Lucas says with a fake theatrical look. "Everybody knows who I am in this fucking city."

Elliot laughs until Lucas asks him "By the way, what was that awful music?"

So Eliot pretends to be offended and grabs his phone, opens up his playlist. His phone starts spitting out a sound that isn't really music to Lucas' ears.

"What the hell is that?" he finally asks.

''It's Zmix. My favorite one. I think it's perfect for relaxing."

Lucas stops the music.

''But how do you listen to that?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and smiles before leaning over to Lucas as if to tell him a secret.

''Well, you'll have to do better than that, then. I'm sure you can make me love anything."

If Lucas would lean in just a little bit, he could put his lips on Elliot's lips. And that thought drives him crazy. Lucas feels his cheeks turn red and gives his phone back to Elliot.

''Sorry, I gotta go.''

And as quickly as Sunday, Lucas leaves the lighthouse without a glance back. And this time, he cuts through the woods, confident that Eliott can't catch him. 

He goes straight up to his room and lies down on his bed. At mealtime, he pretends to be asleep. He spends the night lying on his bed thinking about his mother. She must be getting better. And Lucas is sure she will never get better if she has to face another drama in her life. And since religion is so important to her, finding out that her son is gay is sure to be a fucking tragedy for her. He can't do that to her. He has to be normal. He's going to be normal.

He's gonna have to stay away from Elliot. 


	3. First party

Lucas is up all night thinking about Elliot. As soon as he closes his eyes, he sees his laughing eyes, his smile and his hair scattered under his hood. He wishes he could touch it, see if it's as soft as it looks. He sighs into his pillow and finally gets up to get his headphones. At least when he listens to music he thinks of nothing else. So he spends the night listening to music, not even trying to get to sleep.

At least he's ready to leave the house first. On the bus, he hurries to sit next to Basile. When Eliott gets on the bus and greets Lucas before going back up to his buddies. Lucas turns towards Basile and speaks loud enough for Eliott to hear him.

''I can't wait till Friday, I really need to get a girlfriend.''

Lucas sees Eliott freezes for two seconds before he sits down. Basil laughs, promising to help him out. He immediately feels ashamed that he said that, but he knows he has to do it.

At lunch break, the four boys take advantage of the sun to eat outside on the grass and talk about the evening ahead.

''I wonder what Eliott is going to do on Friday,'' Arthur says suddenly.

"Why?" asks Lucas, pretending not to be too interested.

''At last year's homecoming party, he tried to kiss his best friend. They fought so hard, they broke the glass window by going through it in a fight."

''It must have been hot.'' Lucas says as he imagines the scene.

''Oh, it's not the worst Demaury's show,'' laughs Basile ''one day he broke into the school because he forgot something in his locker. But he broke his leg on the stairs and was in agony all weekend."

''I heard he was so drunk he was asleep when he was found'' complete Yann looking at Lucas.

"One day" Basil" continues, "he took his mother's car to come to school. He was 13 years old. He was stopped by the cops and went on a chase with them."

''You forget the day he got mad in the canteen because there were no more fries'' says Arthur in a serious tone. 

He looks at Lucas gravely before continuing. ''He dropped all the glasses from the display. They all smashed in a huge sound of broken glass"

"He wasn't 18 yet, he already had tattoos." Yann said in an admiring tone.

''He's a real badboy'' laughed Lucas.

"Definitely" confirms Arthur. "And it's worse since he got his moto. He doesn't let anyone touch his moto. It could be a trap for a girl or a guy, but no. No one's ever been allowed to get on his moto. It just makes the bad-boy image even worse."

When they get off the bus that night, Daphne goes straight to Alexia's house to do her homework while Clem locks himself in his room. Lucas goes through his homework, hesitates but finally takes the lighthouse path. He sighs with relief when he realizes that Eliott is not there.   
When he reaches the top of the stairs, a drawing is taped inside the door. It's a raccoon listening to music with a hedgehog.

Lucas doesn't have to wonder if this drawing is from Eliott. He saw that raccoon drawn on his backpack. He takes the drawing and gently folds it to fit in his pocket. 

The next day, when Eliott gets on the bus, Lucas greets him with a smile.. He nods his head and Eliott seems to understand his gesture because he smiles at him without restraint. 

That evening, Lucas doesn't hesitate and goes directly to the lighthouse as soon as he gets out of the bus. He hears Eliott's moto roar before he sees it. He opens the door of the stairs to find Eliott hanging a new drawing.

"You scared the shit out of me, you idiot" Eliott yells, jumping up and down before he bursts out laughing. 

He grabs the picture from the door and hands it directly to Lucas. It's a raccoon riding a motorcycle through the forest with a hedgehog behind him. And underneath it, he writes, "What if I wanna take care of you?

Lucas shyly smiles and tucks the picture gently into his pocket.

"Lucas" said Eliott softly as he approached him, "I'd like to talk to you."

Lucas looks at him like a deer looks at the headlights of a car. He feels trapped. Eliott looks calm, peaceful and so full of tender gestures. Lucas wants to hug him and touch his lips, but he can't. 

''I'm sorry,'' he says before he runs away. 

He reaches the last step when Elliot's hand closes on his wrist.

"Lucas," he begs softly.

Lucas turns around, freeing his wrist from Elliot's grasp. He looks him in the eyes, opens his mouth, then closes it gently and runs out. 

When he gets on the bus the next morning, Basil looks at him as if he were a zombie.

"You look like you haven't been sleeping, man."

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and puts his head against the window. Basil puts his arms around Lucas' shoulders, forcing him to put his head on his shoulder. Lucas falls asleep before Eliott gets on the bus. 

When Basile wakes him up, they are the last to get off. Lucas apologizes but Basile tells him to shut up.

When his aunt drops him off at Yann's that evening where he meets the guys before Emma's party, he sees that she is happy that he has found friends.

"Have a nice evening," she says before letting him out of the car.

"Thanks."

Lucas opens the door but she holds him down by putting her hand on his thigh. She points to the three boys waiting for Lucas on the doorstep.

"So?" she asks softly, "which one makes your heart beat like that?"

Lucas is startled and turns around to look his aunt in the eye.

"What? None?"

She shrugs her shoulders and breathes a little sigh.

"Just be yourself, Lucas. Have a good time."

Lucas leaves the car, regaining the sensation of not being able to breathe properly. They had a beer at Yann's, then a second one. At the third one, Lucas thinks he should have eaten a bit more for lunch. 

"So" asks Basil cheerful "ready to find a girl?"

And they leave, already lightly drunk, to go to Emma's. The music can be heard from the end of the village. Young people are in the swimming pool, all dressed up. Some are lying on the lawn and some are even on the swings. The guys enter the house and are immediately welcomed by Emma who takes Yann to go dancing. While Arthur goes to the kitchen, Basile pulls Lucas into the living room to dance. Very quickly, Lucas finds himself dancing with a brown girl who puts her hands on Lucas' waist.   
If he hadn't seen Eliott's hateful look, Lucas would surely have pushed him away. But he did. He sees Eliot looking at that girl, like he wants to kill her. That he's looking at her hands resting on Lucas' waist.  
  
Eliott is dancing with a girl but he doesn't even seem to realize it because he is so absorbed by Lucas. Lucas, who is determined to show Eliott that he is not interested. Even if he is clearly interested. 

So Lucas closes his eyes and kisses this girl whose name he doesn't even know anymore. He feels her smile in the kiss and he is happy because he doesn't feel anything. It's flat. Totally empty. 

He opens his eyes to find Eliott's wounded look. He can't do that. He pushes the girl away, apologizes, and leaves the living room. He tries to breathe as calmly as he can, but he can't. 

He goes upstairs and finds the bathroom. The fresh water does him some good. When he comes out into the hallway, Eliott is there. Eliott's face seems to light up when he sees Lucas, as if he was waiting for him. Eliott comes to meet him and grabs his arm so that Lucas follows him. He pushes a door and they meet in an office.

Eliott looks him straight in the eyes and closes the door behind Lucas.

''Lucas'' he groans. 

Hearing his name said so tenderly in the mouth of Eliott makes him lose all resistance. Lucas comes closer and raises his head towards Elliot. Then his lips touch those of Lucas. He is breathless. Lucas thinks of nothing more, he feels only the warmth of Elliot's lips on his own. His kiss is like a caress, Lucas has the impression that Eliott touches him everywhere while he feels his hands in his own. He backs up smiling at me and everything seems normal to him. He kissed a boy for the first time in his life at almost 17 years old, and he loved it!   
  
It's that thought that totally short-circuited Lucas' brain. He pushes Eliott away as hard as he can, causing Eliott to bump into the shelf behind him. He watches him put his hand through his hair and whispers "I'm sorry, I can't do this" before he runs away. 

He runs down the stairs and out as fast as he can, as if the house was on fire. The fresh air is good for him and he stops for two minutes to try to breathe calmly.

"Lucas?" Basile's voice startled him, "Are you okay?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders, then shakes his head, eyes full of tears. Basil takes out his phone and starts walking with Lucas towards Yann's house.   
Yann and Arthur joined them less than two minutes later.

"Lucas?" asked Basile softly again while they were sitting in Yann's garden. "Are you alright?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders, his head in his hands.

"Hold lulu" said softly Yann, offering him a beer. 

Lucas stands up and looks at the guys, really worried.

"Okay," exclaims Basile. "What happened? You seemed to have a pretty good run with that girl, didn't you?"

Lucas makes a little wounded moan. 

''But I don't give a fuck about girls.''

He immediately puts one hand over his mouth, wanting to say it again but it's too late.

Basile looks at Arthur then Yann and the first two start shouting with joy and excitement. Yann looks at him and smiles, throwing him a "Good luck, bro."

Lucas doesn't have time to ask why he should be brave enough to understand him. Basile lists all the potentially gay guys in the school to see which one Lucas might like. 

"Have you ever had a guy?" Arthur asks him between sips of beer.

Lucas shakes his head and grabs a beer to cheer him up. Yes, he does need it.

"You've never kissed a guy?" Basile is surprised.

But Lucas's red face and the way he looks away speaks for itself.

"Uh-uh" shouts Basile "tell us all about it."

Lucas looks at him, wondering if he's serious. Of course Basile is serious. And he even insists. Lucas feels relieved before he even speaks.

''Okay. Eliott kissed me."

All three boys startled at the same time.

"Wait," Arthur cuts him off. "Are we talking about Eliott Demaury here?"

"Do you know another Eliott?" is trying to joke Lucas.

"Oh, my God, my Lulu caught the biggest fish in high school!" Basile yells, obviously overexcited by the news.

"And then what? "What happened?" asks Arthur, intrigued.

And Lucas tells the story of how he pushed Eliott away, before he ran out the door. He talks a little bit about his mother and how he doesn't think he can handle it.

''You're out now,'' says Basile, ''and there's no way our friend is going back in the closet. We're gonna help you. Someday you're gonna get your ass on his fucking moto..."

Friends. The word makes Lucas shiver with pure happiness. He bursts out laughing.

''It's already done. Several times, in fact."

All the boys nod their heads in laughter and hug each other in a group hug. 

The four of them fall asleep in Yann's room, and Lucas feels like he's always belonged to the group.

He sleeps until after noon. When he leaves the guys, he goes straight to the lighthouse. There is no drawing or trace of Eliott. Lucas can't help but be disappointed, even if he suspected it. He waits for him until the sun goes down. When he leaves, he tapes his paper on the door, as Eliott does. He drew a long line and wrote underneath it, "I'm really sorry... I can't draw."

He hopes it will at least make Eliott smile. He goes back to his aunt's house, tells her about the evening and says he stayed at Yann's and then goes up to his room and lies down on his bed. He consults the messages from the guys and then looks again at the messages Eliott received a few hours ago.

_I just want us to talk, please._  
_I'm sorry._  
_Lucas, are you okay?_

He hesitates to answer her, but what's the point? He can't be with Elliot. He can't be with a guy. Lucas sighs. He doesn't want to do this, but he can't help but feel drawn to Elliot like a magnet. He wants to see him. He wants to apologize. He wants to tell him... whatever. He's throwing his phone away and covering his head with his pillow.

Lucas is trying to fall asleep. He needs to sleep. His psychologist says that the more tired he gets, the darker his thoughts get and the more the downward spiral of his thoughts is likely to hurt him. After his last session, she told his aunt to be careful, that Lucas might have suicidal thoughts. He thinks it's nonsense. The worst part is he can't tell his aunt because he heard it through the door. Okay, it wasn't very mature, but he wanted to know what they said about him. 

Lucas turns around and rolls over in his bed,can't sleep. It's almost midnight when he decides to come out of his room. He discreetly goes down to the kitchen and is surprised by the calm of the house. His mother slept with the TV on, so there was always a noise in the house. Here, everything seems quiet. Too quiet. Much too quiet compared to all the chaos going on in Lucas' head at the same time.

He hesitates to go out to the lighthouse. He starts to put his shoes on when the noise of a parked car startled him. Two minutes later, his uncle is standing in front of him, looking worried.

''Lucas? Where were you planning on going?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and throws himself into his uncle's arms, crying. He's so exhausted. He's so tired from hiding and not being able to be himself. So tired of having to think of his mother before he thinks of himself.

"I'm gay," Lucas ends up saying as he wipes his tears. ''I'm gay and I can't be gay. Mom will never go for that. I can't make her any sicker. I don't know how to be normal." 

"You're normal" cuts his uncle off. "You're 17, big boy. You gotta think about yourself." He puts his hand on Lucas' hand and says, "You must not think of others. Live your life. We'll talk to your mom if you want. But you can't keep hurting yourself like this. You have to accept yourself and be yourself. We all accept you here. As you are."

Lucas throws himself into her arms and hugs her. His uncle really is the best father he ever had.

"So?" he asks, smiling. "I guess there's a boy behind it all."

"I guess there is." confirms Lucas with a shy smile.

"If you want to talk to me about it, I'm here."

''I hurt him. He kissed me, and I ran out the door. I didn't answer his messages. He must hate me now."

''Nobody can hate you, big boy.'' Says his uncle softly, pulling him into his arms. ''You just have to be able to talk to him about this."

  
The next day, he rushes to the lighthouse at 9:00 a.m. His drawing is gone, but no other word can replace it. He waits until noon with a heavy heart and then leaves to honour his promise to be there for lunch. 

But Lucas can't manage to eat. He thinks back on the note he left when he left. A simple "I need to talk to you, please." 

When his phone vibrates, he jumps so hard he hits his knee under the table. 

"No phones at the table" calls his sister back as he watches Elliot's message. 

Lucas can't help but smile as he reads the simple _I'm waiting for you_. He gets up, looks at his uncle who nods silently and runs away. The moto is parked at the bottom of the headlight. He climbs the stairs so fast his head spins. He stops before opening the door, takes a deep breath and the next moment he is facing Elliot. 

Eliott looks terrible. He looks like he hasn't slept for several days. And Lucas is sure it's his fault. 

''I'm so sorry."

Those are the only words Lucas can say as he looks at Elliot. 

"You wanted to talk to me?" Eliott asks without looking at him. 

And Lucas grabs Elliot's hand and he jumps up and down.

"I'm so sorry, Elliot." Lucas says softly "I didn't mean to push you away like that."

Eliot shrugs his shoulders. 

''It's okay, Lucas. I was out of line, I understand."

And Eliott tries to take his hand away, but Lucas stops him.

"No," cuts Lucas off. "I wanted that, too. I'm sorry for what I did next. But I wanted to kiss you. So much."

Eliott finally meets the look in Lucas' eyes and he must see that Lucas is really sincere because he's one step closer.

"I'm gay" finally lets go of Lucas.

Eliott looks surprised and stops.

"Okay."

Lucas runs his free hand through his hair nervously.

"I'm gay," he repeats, "I knew it before I moved here. I knew it before you kissed me."

He looks at Elliot nodding his head.

"But I couldn't say it. I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to be. My mother's in a lot of trouble and I didn't want to cause her any more. I didn't want her to feel bad because of me."

Lucas pauses and smiles as he watches eliott.

''But when you kissed me, I felt like I couldn't lie anymore. I want to be able to kiss you without shame, Elliot. I want to be able to be myself and"

"I want to be your boyfriend" cuts Eliott off.

Lucas couldn't smile any louder.

"I want to be yours too."

"But?" Eliott asks, tilting his head to the side.

Lucas puts his index finger on Eliott's mouth.

"No, no buts. I wanna be your boyfriend. Until you don't want me anymore."

So, Elliot's getting closer so he can hold Lucas close. 

"That's never gonna happen."

And their lips finally meet again. It's soft, it's slow and careful. As if Eliott was afraid to scare Lucas again. His hands slide slowly to get behind Lucas' back, as if to stop him from leaving. But Lucas has no intention of leaving this time.

"What about your mom?" finally asks Eliott as he hugs Lucas again.

''I'll tell him. When she gets better. I love her, even though she's sick. I don't want to make it worse, but I have to live my life. I can't spend all my time taking care of other people."

Eliott's holding Lucas a little tighter against him then he takes his hands off Lucas' back. .

''You deserve so much, Lucas. I have to."

Eliott is cut off by the horrible ringing of his phone.

''Yes, Mom, I'm coming home. No, I just went for a walk. I'm fine. I'm coming home."

Lucas kisses him gently before he opens the headlight door and walks down the stairs, hand in hand with Elliot. 

As he bends over to kiss him, Elliot hands him a helmet.

"I'll take you home."

Lucas gives the helmet back to him with a smile on his face.

''Your mom said to come home as soon as you can."

And Eliot gives him the helmet back with a frown on his face.

''I'll take you home. I'm not gonna say goodbye here."

Lucas thinks he's being dramatic, but he's not saying anything. So he puts his helmet on at the same time as Eliott and he gets on the bike behind him. This time, he doesn't hesitate and he cradles himself against Elliot's back with his arms around his chest. 

And now he really feels like he belongs. 

Lucas goes straight up to his room. He doesn't come down for dinner because he's already asleep. For real this time.   


The next day, Eliott doesn't get on the bus. Lucas sees his moto at school but he doesn't see him all day. When he gets out of school at 6pm, the moto is already gone.   
When he goes to the lighthouse when he gets off the bus, he stays there alone until nightfall. Eliott hasn't answered any of his messages and doesn't give him any sign of life all day. 

On Tuesdays, he sees neither Eliott's moto nor this one. Eliott doesn't come to school all week. Lucas learns from Basile that he often misses classes. Lucas shouldn't worry but he can't help it. 

Friday night, Lucas is at Arthur's house. He hasn't sleep weel all week and has hardly eaten either. He knows that Elliot has seen all his messages, but he hasn't answered any of them. 

He rereads the last message he sent and sighs.

_Eliott, I just need to know what's going on. Please._


	4. Intervention

''Okay. Intervention'' Basile yelling at the guys and pointing at Lucas with his index finger. 

The three of them gather around Lucas. The four of them are in Arthur's kitchen. Lucas finds himself surrounded by Arthur and Yann while Basile sits on the table, just in front of him.

"Okay, Lulu" says softly to Basile "Now we want to know what's going on."

"Nothing" grunts Lucas as he plays with his beer bottle.

"Come on bro" pushes Yann. "We can see you're not doing well. What's happened since Saturday lunchtime?"

"You've been bad all week." Basile confirms. "Now, accept that we'll help you. We're your friends, we're also here to help you."

"Is that Eliott?" asks Arthur.

Lucas makes a moan that says a lot. Yann hands him a new beer which he accepts and he tells his friends everything.

"You should go to his house and talk to him about it," said Arthur. "I'm sure he has an explanation."

Lucas looks at him and laughs.

''I can't go to his house like this. I don't even know where he lives."

Arthur opens the kitchen door to the garden and points to a house on the other side of the hedge.

''That's where he lives. His mother works nights with my mother, so she's not home." Arthur looks at Elliot's house and then turns to Lucas and says, "Take a chance."

Lucas finishes his beer and slams it on the table. He's just too drunk to think straight. Once he's outside, the fresh air is good for him. He hesitates and turns around, but Arthur and Basile wave him off.

Lucas knocks gently at the front door. The house seems empty, there is no noise. He really hopes that Elliot's mother is not there when he knocks a second time a little louder. He grabs a handful of pebbles and throws them at the upstairs windows.   
It makes his drunken brain laugh so he throws a second handful. A light comes on behind one of the windows, before it opens, revealing Eliott.

"Lucas?"

Lucas drops the handful of pebbles he still has in his hand and looks at Eliott. 

''What the hell are you doing, Lucas?'' asks Eliott out the window.

"I deserve an explanation," Lucas screams.

Eliott tells him to shut up and wait, but Lucas is too drunk to see that.

''I deserve a fucking explanation. Why have you been ignoring me all week?"

Eliott appears in front of Lucas who looks at the window like he doesn't understand how he got down so fast. Lucas comes up to him with an uninsured gait. Between the amount of alcohol and his nervousness, it's really hard to walk properly. 

''Lucas, damn it. Are you drunk?"

Lucas opens his eyes, a weird smile on the corner of his mouth and shrugs his shoulders.

''Maybe I've had a little bit to drink.'' He finally confesses before he gets angry. ''I don't get it. You talk to me about being your boyfriend and then you ignore me for the next week. You make me love you and hate you almost at the same time. Talk to me, damn it."

Eliott appears broken and he backs away, walking back to his front door.

''I'm sorry, Lucas. I need to talk to you. I wanted to do this so many times this week, but I don't want to do it either. I just pushed the deadline back. I'll talk to you tomorrow, when you're sober."

Eliott turns around and goes home. But Lucas follows him into the house before he slams the door.

"Are you gonna ignore me again after that?" Lucas yells at him.

''I'm sorry, Lucas. I want to do what's best for you. And that means staying away from you."

"You've got to be kidding me, Elliot. You chase me around all the time, and once I fall into your arms, you throw me out." Lucas screams out, pounding his fist on Elliot's chest. "What the fuck did I do?"

"It's not you, Lucas."

Lucas starts laughing his ass off.

"It's not you, it's me." He says in an ironic voice, "Really?"

Eliott looks him in the eye and cracks. His voice gets angrier than he'd like and he starts yelling at Lucas.

''I'm no good for you, Lucas. You deserve better than to take care of me."

Lucas sighs and then he gets a teasing smile.

"What if I want to?"

Lucas tries to get close to Elliot, but Elliot backs off.

''Damn it, Lucas, stop. This is too hard. I'm sick. I'm bipolar. I don't want you to deal with this."

Despite the booze and the blood hitting his head, Lucas pretends to think for two seconds.

"What if I want to?" Lucas repeats as he gets closer to Elliot. "What if I don't care if you're bipolar?"

Lucas' lips are barely on Eliott's lips when he pushes him away.

''Not like that, Lucas. Not if you're drunk."

Lucas is huddled up against Elliot, smiling.

''Then let's go to sleep. And in the morning I'll be sober and tell you the same." says Lucas before he goes up the stairs. 

He opens the first door in front of him but closes it just as fast. It's clear that this is Elliot's mother's room. Elliot shows him the door at the end of the corridor. Lucas throws himself on the bed and opens his arms, telling Elliot to come snuggle. 

''Good night, Eliott Demaury. I'm not going anywhere."

And Eliott smiles as he watches the show and comes to bed next to Lucas.

''You will be the death of me, Lucas Lallemant.''

When he wakes up, Lucas is a little lost. But his memories come back quickly and he turns his head to discover Eliott, still asleep next to him. He gently gets up on the bed to look around. There are drawings everywhere. On every wall. There are several drawings of the lighthouse. But most of all, there are raccoons everywhere. He looks at the drawings on the walls and then looks at the different drawings on Eliott's desk.   
It's just raccoons and hedgehogs. Sometimes they're in love, sometimes they're sad. In one drawing they are in each other's arms, while in another the raccoon is crying and the hedgehog is letting go.

"I thought you'd be gone."

Elliot's voice startled him, and lucas joins him in bed, hugging him again. 

''I told you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm sober, and I'm telling you again, I wanna be with you, and I don't care if you're bipolar."

The word makes Eliott shudder. 

''That's not nothing, Lucas. I have manic episodes, depressive episodes where I wouldn't leave my bed for days. I'm gonna make your life impossible. I'm gonna scream, I'm gonna leave without warning. I'm gonna hurt you. I've already done too much stupid stuff."

Lucas tightens his grip on Elliot and kisses him gently.

''I don't care, Elliot. I'd rather go through all this with you than have to stay away from you."

He kisses him again.

''Lucas, you don't even know what you're getting into...When I'm depressed, I can't get out of bed," says Eliott softly.

Lucas nods his head, inviting him to continue.

''But my manic phases are very difficult. It started when I was 13. I was late for school, so I took my parents' car. Just like that. It seemed like the best idea. And then I ran into the cops and it was like I was in a video game. They followed me all over town. Luckily, my dad hadn't refueled the car. After half an hour, the car stalled."

"I already knew that," Lucas said softly, "you're not gonna change my mind with your stories."

Eliott continues as if Lucas had said nothing. He lies down on his back, looking at the ceiling so Lucas imitates him by sliding his hand into his to intertwine their fingers.

''A couple of days later, I went nuts in the canteen. I had to wait five minutes for fries. It just seemed insurmountable to me. I was so pissed off. I broke all the glasses that were waiting on the display. Just for some fries, can you believe it?"

Lucas turns his head slowly towards Elliot, smiling and shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm still not afraid of you."

And Eliot raises an eyebrow at Lucas' lack of surprise. 

"Have you ever heard this story before?"

Lucas nods to confirm.

"What else did you hear?" Eliott asks quietly as he turns to the side.

Lucas imitates him and gently strokes Elliot's arm.

"That you came home drunk from school to get something out of your locker."

''I wasn't drunk.'' Elliot's Cup. ''I was on a mania. I was so excited, I stupidly beat the crap out of myself on the stairs. By the time they found me, I was having a depressive episode. Usually every mania is followed directly by a depressive episode. And what else?"

Lucas hesitates, but Elliot signals him to talk. 

"What happened at last year's homecoming party."

Eliott sighs as he gets back on his back. Lucas directly fills the space between them.

''That was just me. No mania.'' Eliott grumbles.

''I don't care, Elliot. Really. I feel sad for you, especially. That you had to go through this alone. That everybody's always judging you, all the time. Why doesn't anybody know it's your bipolarity that's doing this?"

Eliott suddenly looks at him with a menacing look on his face.

"Don't tell anyone. Lucas. Anyone.''

Lucas' first instinct would be to step back... But he's not afraid of Elliot. So he hugs him as hard as he can.

''I won't say anything, you idiot. Thank you for telling me that. But I think if people knew that, they wouldn't think you were a bad guy anymore."

"Did you see the way they treated Basile's mother?"

Lucas is thinking. He's only seen Basile's mother twice since he's been here, but he knows what they're saying about her and his illness.

"I don't want people looking at me like I'm ready to explode," says Elliot. 

He's about to continue but Lucas chuckles, which makes him stop.

''What are you laughing at?'' he finally asks.

Lucas looks at him and smiles.

''People are already looking at you like you could explode, idiot. They're all afraid of you, just as much as they're fascinated by you."

Eliott smiles.

"Then why aren't you afraid?"

Lucas strokes his cheek before he kisses him.

"I want to be with you. I want to listen to your crazy music, I want you to draw on my skin. I want you to take me on your motorcycle. I want you to make me feel free again. You can't choose for me, Elliot. I want to be near you. I want to take care of you. That's what boyfriends do."

Eliott kisses him once, then twice, then three times, then back off.

''I'm on medication, you know. But when I'm good, it pisses me off, so I don't take it. And my seizures are like a wake-up call. But you make me want to do it right, I think."

Lucas throws himself at Elliot's lips. This time it's not sweet. It's intense. Very quickly, Lucas is on Elliot, their mouths never leaving each other, their tongues dancing together. Eliott slips his hands under Lucas' shirt, caressing his lower back. Lucas really has the impression of burning where Eliott's hands touch him. He lets his hand go down to the bottom of Eliott's shirt but he pushes his hand away from him while he just touches his lower stomach.

Lucas doesn't have the time to question Eliott as the voice coming from below makes them startle.

''Eliott. Lunchtime. It's noon. And tell Lucas to come eat, too."

Eliot smiles and kisses Lucas before he gets up.

''She must have seen us sleeping. She always checks in when she gets home from work at 7:30."

Lucas nods his head but still seems surprised.

''How often does she find you in bed with guys?''

Eliott shakes his head and laughs. 

"You're the first, Lucas."

Lucas is pouting, showing he doesn't believe a word of it. 

Eliott kisses his cheeks, nose and then puts a little kiss on his lips. 

''Okay, I dated guys and girls in high school. I mean, they weren't relationships, they were just one-night kisses. All on the same night. Two or three different nights. It's another one of my mania, I get a little out of control. I kiss 10 or 15 different people in one night. It's like I can't stop myself. And nobody stops me. It's built my reputation. But you're the first one to come to my house, I swear. Mixed up guys and girls, you're the first one to sleep in my bed. And you're the first one to get on my moto."

Lucas feels his cheeks turn red and gets up. 

''I'm honored. Thank you. How does your mother know it's me?"

And Elliot gets up and wraps his waist around her.

"I tell him everything. She knows it has to be you. You don't know how long I've been dreaming about you sleeping in my arms."

''We've only known each other a couple of weeks, Eliott'' laughs Lucas.

But Eliott takes his tone most seriously.

"I've known you longer than that."

Lucas is about to ask for more, but Elliot's mother shows up on the doorstep.

''Hello, Lucas. I'm Line, Elliot's mom."

"Hello, ma'am."

She stops him by chasing air between them.

"No ma'am. Just Line. Now, come and eat. I made lasagna."

After a quick phone call to his aunt, and a message to the gang, Lucas finds himself at the kitchen table with Elliot and his mother.

''So, Lucas, getting used to it? Don't you miss Paris too much?"

Lucas finishes his lasagna with a smile on his face.

"Not at all, actually. I didn't really have any ties there."

"Elliot tells me you made friends fast." She goes on and on.

Lucas nods.

"Basile, Arthur and Yann adopted me right away. As if I'd been here for years. And then Daphne's girlfriends took me in too. That's cool."

"Hey, and me?" Eliott asks, obviously offended at not being mentioned in the friends list.

Lucas looks at him, laughs and winks at him.

"Yeah, you're cool too."

Line bursts out laughing and gets up, runs her hand through her son's hair.

''I don't think he thinks of you as his friend, honey.''

And Eliott takes his head out of his mother's hand and gets up.

''Boyfriend's a friend, isn't it?'' he says as he gets up to go to the toiletts.

"That's right," she says as she searches the fridge. She gets up in one motion and looks at Lucas. ''Boyfriend. Is it official then?"

Lucas nods shyly and blushes.

"Oh," she exclaims happily, "since Elliot has been talking about you. One summer, when he was 17, he ran away the night before we went on vacation just so he could see you before he left."

"Mom!" stops Elliot on the kitchen doorstep.

But it's too late for that. And Lucas is thinking his way back up his train of thought.

"Have you seen me before last Sunday?" he asks in amazement.

"Of course," confirms Line. "He's been talking about you for years."

"Mom, stop." The Eliott cup in a dry voice.

They finish the meal rather quietly. Elliot keeps staring at Lucas, but Lucas seems lost in thought. 

Once they finish clearing out, Lucas asks Eliot to take him to the lighthouse. They both get on the bike and Lucas hugs Eliott. They get on without a word.

''When did you first see me?'' finally asks Lucas by sitting at the edge of the lighthouse.

Eliott imitates him and then answers looking at the horizon. 

''It was 2015. That's the year I discovered this place. I saw you right here. I was there." Eliott points to a spot near the forest. "You were joking. Alone. You looked happy. I came back every day to see you. Sometimes you were there. Sometimes not."

Lucas walks up to Elliot and puts his head in the crook of his neck.

"Why didn't you come and talk to me?

"I was 15 years old. I didn't wanna scare you. I knew you were only 13. And then you'd leave. I didn't want a holiday romance."

Lucas is recovering quickly.

"Wait, are you 19?"

And Eliott nods in agreement, laughing.

"Shit," he complains to Lucas, "you're too old for me, sorry."

And he pretends to walk away before laughing and kissing Elliot.

''I'm laughing. Keep going. Tell me your stalker story."

And Elliot sighs long and hard.

''See, this is why I didn't want you to know. I'm clearly a stalker."

''Clearly,'' confirms Lucas, laughing, ''but I honestly don't care. It's kind of cute, actually. Eliott Demaury had a crush on me before you met me."

"Eliott Demaury still has a crush on you," eliott laughs as he kisses him. 

Lucas is intertwining their fingers.

''I heard you're Benjamin and Daphne's cousin. So when I heard you were coming back the next summer, I was so happy. I was really hesitant to come and talk to you, but I didn't want to go through something with you knowing there was an end date. So I just watched you and I was drawing. It made me calm. The next year, I ran away so I could see you at least once. You looked so sad. I wish I could have come to see you. But I couldn't bear to leave you at the end of the summer so I came home and went on vacation with my parents."

''And since then? Do you come and watch me every year?"

And Eliott smiles and moves closer to Lucas so their shoulders touch.

''The next summer, I was determined to talk to you... But I had a violent manic episode the week before... It was the first time I'd ever hallucinated. Only I didn't understand what it was. I panicked. I set fire to my room. I spent six months on burn duty so I couldn't see you. That's why I'm still a senior. That's also why I'm alone with my mom now."

He's waiting for Lucas to ask him for an explanation, but Lucas isn't doing anything. 

''And here we are this year...''

Lucas nods his head and puts it on Elliot's shoulder.

"And? Why did you talk to me last Sunday?"

''I was so happy to hear that you were moving in. I know, I'm being selfish. I'm sorry. I came to the lighthouse every day, but you were never there. And then on Sundays, you cried so much. I've never seen you cry like that. I was afraid you'd do something stupid."

"I'm not suicidal!" Lucas screams louder than he wants to. 

Eliott hugs him and apologizes.

"I'm sorry," finally Lucas says, "my aunt's been taking me to a psychologist since my mom tried to kill herself, and she says I might have suicidal tendencies. That pisses me off. I know me better than she thinks I know me, don't I?"

Eliott's holding him a little tighter.

"My psychologist says I'm out of control," eventually Eliott lets go.

"You know what?" Lucas says, turning around and saying, "Fuck them."

And they spend the afternoon kissing and talking and listening to music. And Elliot was right. Lucas could make him love anything. 

And the opposite is also true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment, don't hesit ✍️♥️💔


	5. Bet

Eliott doesn't even ask the question and takes Lucas straight home when the sun starts to set.

''My mom already left for work. No more awkward moments." He promises when he opens the door to his house. 

Eliott walks into the kitchen and pulls out about 15 different ingredients. Lucas watches him do it, saying nothing because Eliott seems so sure of himself.   
When he finds himself in front of a stove containing what used to be eggs but now looks like vomi, Lucas is puzzled. But he tastes anyway. And he runs almost instantly to the sink to rinse his mouth.

Finally, they take a pizza out of the freezer, Lucas making Eliott promise never to cook again. Eliott even ends up agreeing that maybe the egg/cinnamon/coriander/blueberry mix wasn't a very good idea.

They eat the pizza in front of the TV. Lucas doesn't even realize he's falling asleep. But when he wakes up, he's in Elliot's bed and Elliot sleeps next to him. He closes his eyes and goes right back to sleep. 

It's the ringing of his phone that pulls Lucas out of sleep. He looks at the message he just received from his mother.

_I saw the devil looking down on you. You have to confess to get into heaven. I'll pray for your soul._

Lucas sighs as he puts the phone back on the coffee table. 

"Are you okay?" Eliott asks quietly, rubbing his eyes together. 

Lucas turns to Elliot and looks at him. He still seems full of sleep. His hair is a mess and he has the pillow on his cheek. He moves forward to kiss him gently. 

"No problem."

He gently strokes the inside of his wrist and over it to Elliot's tattoo on his forearm. He's very quiet. It just says _Breathe_ in cursive letters, that's all it does.

''Do you want to know why?'' Eliott whispers as if he's about to tell a secret. 

''I thought you'd never ask a guy with a tattoo,'' Lucas laughs.

Elliot looks up to the sky and kisses Lucas. 

''It's my second tattoo. I got it six months ago. When I'm depressive, lying in bed, I stare at this tattoo and I remember to breathe. It's the only thing I can do."

Lucas smiles gently while continuing to caress the tattoo. Eliott lifts a corner of his shirt to reveal his ribs.

''This is the first one I've ever done. I was 16 years old. My mother would've killed me if she knew about it. But she didn't find out until I got burned. So she never mentioned it."

Riding up Eliott's side, their lighthouse is drawn to perfection. Every little detail proves to Lucas that it's theirs, not just any lighthouse. The only thing that changes is that on the side of the lighthouse is the phrase _When the light shines in the darkness, not a single ray is lost._

Lucas bends over to kiss her and then smiles. 

''Sorry, I have nothing to show'' says Lucas, shrugging his shoulders, a big smile on his lips. 

Eliott gently strokes his arm up to his wrists and whispers, "One day, I'll draw you a tatoo if you want."

He jumps slightly when he runs his thumb inside Lucas' right wrist. Three scars that leave no doubt as to their origin.   
Lucas immediately stretches out and tries to move his arm back, but Eliott squeezes it to keep it in his hand.

"Hey, baby, who cares, okay?"

Lucas can't look into Elliot's eyes so he puts his head against Elliot's chest. 

"I've got to go home" Lucas finally says, pulling back slightly, "I promised I'd be home for lunch."

Eliot turns his head to the clock and smiles.

"Uh, Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"It's 3:00. pm"

Lucas stands up and grabs his phone off the coffee table. Shit, it really is 3:00 pm. 

Half an hour later, Eliott pulls up in front of Lucas' house. Even though Lucas doesn't feel like home. They barely get off the motorbike when Romain leaves the house.

''Eliott Demaury, eh?'' he says to Lucas. ''Well. Hello, Eliott'' chases him before shaking hands with the boy.

"Good morning, sir."

''Romain, not sir. The girls have gone to the movies. We were starting to worry, Lucas."

"I'm sorry", says Eliott before Lucas can speak. "It's my fault."

"Your reputation precedes you, kid," says Roman with a big smile. "It's nice of you to want to look like the bad guy, but I'm sure Lucas can tell time."

"We didn't see the time," confirms Lucas. "Sorry."

"I don't think so" laughs Roman. "Come on, I guess you haven't eaten anything."

They spend the rest of the afternoon the three of us talking. Lucas is really happy because his uncle asks Eliott a lot of interesting questions, and he's really interested in the answers. Lucas takes the opportunity to learn a lot about his boyfriend. It is Daphne's angry voice that cuts them off in their discussion.

''What the hell, the moto of"

"Daphne!" cuts her father off and points to the boys.

Daphne looks at all three of them and then frowns when she sees Lucas' hand on Eliott's thigh. 

"Lucas, can I talk to you?" Daphne asks, obviously uncomfortable.

''I'm gonna go, I have to do my homework anyway,'' explains Elliot. 

He leans over to Lucas and gently kisses him.

"See you tomorrow, Lucas."

Lucas smiles stupidly. And he knows it. He's watching Elliot walk out the door and get on his moto. He stops smiling when Daphne clears her throat.

"What?"

"Don't tell me you're dating Eliott Demaury?"

''But what do you care?'' Lucas gets pissed off.

"He's...and you... you're so nice, Lucas. He's violent. He's mean. He's hurting people around him.''

Lucas gets up out of his chair.

''You don't know him. You don't fucking know him. Nobody fucking knows him."

Daphne seems to realize she's going to lose Lucas and moves closer to hugging him.

''I'm sorry, Lucas. I'm worried about you."

Lucas looks at her and nods his head.

''He's a good guy. I promise you that."

Daphne steps back and squints slightly.

''He better. If he hurts you, I'll kill him." Warn her.

That makes Lucas laugh. Clementine looks at him without saying anything. She locks herself in her room as usual.

The next day, when they kiss on the bus, and then when they enter the school, hand in hand, all eyes seem to be on them. Lucas wouldn't be so embarrassed if they didn't hear the comments associated with those looks.

_Poor guy, he's going to be heartbroken._  
_But how can such a nice guy go out with Elliot?_  
_Poor Lucas. But why is he agreeing to this?_  
_It's really sad for him. He seems so happy right now._

And then he hears bets being made on how long they're going to last in couple. Or rather, how long before Lucas gets his heart broken. Some say two days, some say a week, the nice ones bet on three weeks. Lucas is happy to learn that his friends refuse to bet, girls and boys alike. The boys are happy for him while the girls seem to be on the reservation. 

During the lunch break, Lucas quickly takes Eliott's hand in his and kisses him, hoping he hasn't heard as much as he has. But when Eliot whispers "I'm really sorry" in his ear, Lucas knows he heard everything. 

So they're both out of high school, preferring to eat in the grass, away from gossip. They finish their sandwiches and then Lucas sits with his back against a tree, while Eliott sits between his legs, his back resting against Lucas' chest.

"Tomorrow they won't take care of us" Lucas promises him, kissing him on the neck.

"Everyone's waiting for me to make a wrong move" sighs Elliot. 

He kisses Lucas' palm and sighs again.

''The worst part is, they're right. It's only a matter of time," says Elliot in a sad voice.

''Fuck them'' says Lucas. ''I'm not going anywhere, you know that, right?"

Eliott smiles and hugs the Lucas's arm, taking his arms and wrapping them around him. And just like that, they're good. Lucas feels like he can reassure Eliot just because he's holding him completely in his arms. So they stay like that, until the bell rings and indicates the resumption of classes.

Lucas was right, looks and rumors calmed down the next few days.

But unfortunately, Eliott was also right. It was only a matter of time. 

It took two weeks before things got out of hand. It's Friday night. Lucas joined his friends at Yann's to have a drink just the four of us before a birthday party for a guy Lucas doesn't even know. Apparently a senior year. The guys offered Eliott to join them but Eliott refused, insisting that Lucas share some time alone with his friends.   
And now that Lucas is listening to Basile explain how he's going to get a girl into bed tonight, he's glad his boyfriend isn't there.   
Yann pretends to listen to him while drinking a beer and Arthur goes through Instagram to take the temperature of the party.

"Oh, shit" starts Arthur screaming with a startle.

Yann leans over to his phone and looks horrified. 

"Are you sure this is tonight?"

"Damn Yann, it's live" shows Arthur.

Basile and Lucas get up at the same time to approach the phone but Arthur pushes Lucas away with his hand. 

"What the fuck is this? What's going on?" grumbles Lucas.

"Is that Eliott?" Basile asks him as he watches the video.

Lucas pushes Arthur's hand away and grabs his phone. 

If his heart could break, it would break right now. Eliott is already at the party. And he's kissing a girl. She's as tall as he is. Brunette. The video is filmed so close that Lucas sees their tongues mixing. Lucas feels like throwing up now. The video stops, but Lucas can't take his eyes off the phone.

A second video appears in the story. Eliott is now kissing a guy who seems more than happy to accept. 

Lucas throws the phone on the kitchen table and looks at the guys. 

''Here we go."

"But" Basile Cup.

"Here we go" repeats Lucas in a voice that calls for no negotiation. 

Luckily, the party takes place in a barn less than 10 minutes walk from Yann's house. That's why it's interesting to be at Yann's. Arthur shows Elliot's motorcycle parked just in front. Lucas feels all eyes on him as soon as he passes the barn door. He only has to follow the applause to know where his fucking boyfriend is. 

He's now leaning against the barn wall, kissing some blond guy Lucas has never seen. Lucas pulls on Eliott's arm so hard and so suddenly that Eliott turns all the way back to him.

"Lucas, fuck, finally" Eliott jumps up and smiles, "I've been looking all over for you."

"You didn't seem to be looking for him."

Daphne's voice startled Lucas.

''Forget it, Daphne. I've got this." Lucas confirms to her before pulled Eliott towards him.

''Eliott, come with me. Let's go."

So Eliott looks at him and leans in to kiss him, but Lucas backs away.

"We're going your home, Elliot."

Eliott seems disappointed.

"What? Already? No. But we haven't even danced yet. I want to dance with you. I want to party with you. I want to."

Eliott suddenly looks up at the ceiling and everything seems to stop around him.

''Hey, kid, beat it. Let the grownups have their fun" said the blond man suddenly as he touched Elliot's arm. 

But Eliot pushes him back so hard, the guy hits his head on the wall.

''You don't talk to the man I love like that, dumbass.'' Eliott says mean.

''If you love him, why are you kissing everybody?'' spits the blond back.

Eliott looks at him as if he doesn't understand. Lucas dares to look around. Everybody's looking at them now. 

''I want to get out of here'' whispers Eliott as he gets closer to Lucas. His voice sounds like a scared child.

He takes Eliott's hand in his and pulls him towards the exit. Eliott totally lets it happen this time. Lucas takes his motorcycle keys from the small pocket where Eliott always keeps them and hands him his helmet. Eliott pretends to get behind the wheel but Lucas pushes him back.

''I'm driving.'' He confirms as he gets behind the wheel.

Lucas starts and puts the moto upright while Eliott puts his head against his back, his arms already wrapped around his waist. 

Lucas smiles under his helmet. He will remember only one thing from tonight: Eliott trusts him completely, even when he's not feeling well.

''Damn Lucas'' screams Daphne as he puts the first one on. 

But Lucas doesn't have time to look at her because he's already far away.

When Elliot wakes up, he's alone in bed. Flashes of the evening explode in his head. No. That's not possible. He couldn't have done that. He gets up quickly. He's in a T-shirt and boxers. He looks out and there it hits him hard. His motorcycle's in the wrong place. Eliott always parks it in the same place, in the same direction. On the right side of the house, ready to go. But now she's in front of the house, parked the wrong way. 

He looks around. There's no sign of Lucas going into his room. He jumps on his phone but has no messages from lucas. He does, however, have several from unknown numbers, sending pictures of himself, kissing other guys or girls. Eliott drops his phone on the floor and runs to the bathroom to throw up.  
He wasn't drunk yesterday. He just had a couple of beers while he waited for Lucas. He was so excited. He should have known he was way too excited for the occasion. He never should have gone to that party. He shouldn't have accepted the joint Damien offered.  
Now he's crying with his head on the wall. He ruined the best thing that ever happened to him in his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A comment is welcome ✍️❤️💔


	6. Punishment

When he comes out of the bathroom, his mother is in front of him. His face is totally closed. She looks really angry. Usually she's worried after Eliott's tantrums, but she's never looked as angry as she does now.

''Eliott'' has her bossy voice on a bad day ''I made an emergency appointment for you. You need to be followed. You're going to get treatment and go to sessions with the shrink. What you did yesterday was really dangerous. There's no way Lucas is gonna do it again, you hear me?"

Eliott finally looks her in the eye and instead of finding the anger he's been waiting for, he sees the fear in her.

"What "

He doesn't have time to finish his sentence when his mother cuts him off.

''He drove you home on your moto, Elliot. He's 17 years old. You could have killed the both of you, for Christ's sake. Or you could have killed somebody else."

''I already promised you, Line, I ain't driving no more till I get my license.'' promises Lucas by joining them ''I'm really sorry. I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to take him back to a safe place."

Lucas smiles at Eliott. He's wearing Elliot's clothes and seems to be floating in them. He walks past Line and reaches out his hand to Elliot, still smiling at him.

"Are you all right?"

And Elliot's eyes are always wide open and his mouth is always O. He's as pale as if he'd seen a ghost.

"What I did to you" he finally says, before bursting into tears in Lucas' arms. 

Lucas and Line take him back to his room and force Eliott to lie down. Line leaves the boys and Eliott cries for a long time, his head against Lucas' chest, then finally falls asleep while holding Lucas' shirt tightly between his fists. 

Lucas didn't even realize that he was awake but Eliott starts talking without any preamble.

"They were right."

Eliott's little voice hurts Lucas. Even worse than what happened yesterday. 

''No, they were wrong. I'm here. It's all right."

Eliott steps back from Lucas' arms. He sees the clock. He's been sleeping in Lucas' arms for more than 3 hours. He knows he does not deserve it.

''It's not okay. They were right. I ruined everything. I know that I shouldn't drink or smoke. I shouldn't even have come to this party."

Lucas runs his hand through Elliot's hair, tenderly.

''You said, and I quote, _''the man I love''_ when you were talking about me, and you proved to me that you trust me with your life. When we got here, your mother screamed when she saw me riding and you said, I quote, _''This is not my moto. Everything that's mine is his, too. It's an extension of my soul, so it's like I'm riding."_ By the way, you didn't tell me you were turning into a marshmallow. Or is it just your blue-green side that's coming back?"

Elliot sighs and lucas grabs his face with both hands.

''You weren't yourself yesterday, and yet you proved to me many times how much you love me. So, yeah, I hated to see you kiss all these idiots, but I'm not going anywhere, Elliot. I'm here."

"But"

"We'll work it out, together," promises Lucas before kissing his cheek "I'm staying right here."

"How do you do it, Lucas?"

Lucas kisses him on the cheek again before he says, "How do I do what?"

"How are you so perfect? Why didn't you just run away? How do you see beautiful things in such a dark moment?"

''I'm very not perfect. And I see the beaufiful things because someone taught me that in the darkness, every ray of sunshine counts. So I decided to see every ray of sunshine."

And Elliot looks at him like he's from another world and then huddles up to him again.

''She's right, you know.'' He finally says without moving, his face hidden in Lucas' chest.

"Who?" Lucas asks softly.

"My psychologist."

Eliott pauses.

"Mine, too." Finally admits Lucas.

Eliott steps back to look at him. He wasn't expecting that. Lucas smiles as he shows him his right wrist.

''I got three here. But before that, I've got about 10 on the inside of each thigh."

"Lucas, you don't have to," interrupts Eliott.

"I do. You told me your nonsense. Now you tell me. I started when I was 15, when my dad left home. I had so much pain inside me, I wanted to get it out. And it worked. In the moment, it made me feel a little better. But afterwards it wasn't enough. So I needed more. That's why I put it on my wrist. I needed it so badly that I didn't think it would show. My mother saw it. She felt a lot of guilt about it. She thought it was because of her. She still does. When it's not. It was just me: My lies, my loneliness, my father's abandonment."

"It's a pain in the ass" says Eliott, hugging Lucas. "Fathers are such jerks."

Lucas gently strokes his back.

''When I got out of the hospital, after six months of care, my dad was gone. He asked my mom to commit me to a psychiatric hospital and she refused, so he left. Just like that. He never came to see me at the hospital. My mom got the divorce papers in the mail. We haven't heard from him since."

Eliott buried his forehead in Lucas' chest again.

''We'll be better fathers than them without even trying'' concludes Lucas ''especially if we're both.''

Eliott tightens against Lucas with a smile. 

"I love you, Elliot." Lucas says softly, stroking his cheek.

"I love you too, sunray. So much. I'm so sorry."

And Elliot turns to become the little spoon. Lucas wonders how he can be so small when he's so much bigger than Lucas. 

Lucas is dozing off a little, trying not to think about last night. Eliott has been in a very restless sleep for the last 2 hours. While Lucas tightens his embrace, Eliott talks so weakly that he wonders if he is awake or still sleeping.

"I thought you left this morning," whispers Eliott.

"Never. I was just downstairs with your mother. We were talking about our favorite topic of conversation: you."

Lucas puts two kisses on her neck.

"Why are you wearing my clothes? Not that I mind. I'm just wondering."

"You threw up on me when you got off the moto, Elliot." 

And Elliot tries to turn around, but Lucas holds him tight.

''Who cares, my love? And just so you know, it was your mother who changed your clothes while I was taking a shower."

Eliott looks at his shirt and boxers. He didn't even realize he'd changed them.

"Have you ever ridden a moto before?"

Lucas gently squeezes Eliott before answering.

''Yes and no. I took a moped riding class when I was 14. And the instructor was a friend of mine, so he made me ridea moto a few times, too. My feet weren't quite touching the ground, so he taught me to rest on one foot to steady the moto. Luckily because your moto is too fucking high for me."

Eliott lets out a little chuckle and Lucas feels his heart pounding a little harder because he's so happy to hear that.

''I wanted to get my motorcycle license at 16 but by then my dad had run off and sold the moto. Your mom's right, it was a really smart thing to do. I really didn't think it through."

''I'm really sorry about all this, Lucas.'' Eliott moans before kissing his arm and falling asleep again.

At 4:00 pm, Line forced Eliott out of bed and took him to the clinic. Lucas has to go back to see Romain before he leaves to fly again and he kisses him, promising to be there as soon as he comes back. 

When he enters the house, Lucas feels that the atmosphere is heavy. 

"Lucas" moans his uncle "but why did you do that? What were you thinking driving a motorcycle without a license? I've been trying to call you all day."

"Sorry the battery's dead." That's not true. He just turned his phone off, but no one has to know that.

Lucas takes one look at his cousin and he's furious.

''No, she didn't say anything.'' His uncle says, ''In a village like ours,everything comes out.'' He looks at Lucas and insists, "Really, really everything."

Lucas sighs and looks at his uncle and then at his aunt, sitting right next to him.

''Everything's under control. I'm okay. Eliott's fine. We're fine."

"I heard he kissed the whole village." Let go of your aunt. "How could you be okay, Lucas?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

"It's not him. I mean, it is, but it's not his fault. But I promised I wouldn't say anything until he wants me to. You just have to trust me."

His uncle lets out a deep sigh and then looks at his wife.

''Okay. Don't say anything. I'll be back in ten days. Until I get back, you're grounded. No going outside of school. No partying. No friends. Nothing."

"What?" Lucas is indignant. "Why?"

Romain stands up and gets angry.

"Because you could have created an accident. Or had an accident. We love you, Lucas, we can't let you put your life in danger like that. And that's what you did, with Elliot. So yeah, you're 17. Yeah, you're not my son. But I'm gonna act like because I love you, Lucas, and I can't let that go."

''I'm sorry.'' Admits Lucas before hugging his uncle and going up to his room. 

He only goes downstairs to hug his uncle when he leaves and then goes back up to lock himself in his room.

When Eliott tells him that he is home, Lucas calls him face to face to tell him everything. When he tells him that he is going to sneak out tonight, Eliott forbids him. Eliott wants him to listen to his uncle. They have to be responsible. Eliot has a new treatment and he promises to take it.   
They end up falling asleep with their phones on the pillow, as if they were sleeping together.

Sunday passes at a deadly speed. Lucas spends the day in his room, going downstairs to peck at mealtimes, trying not to sulk because it's all his fault, and he knows it. He agrees it was really stupid to ride the moto. But when he thinks about it, he can only smile. Between the feeling of freedom, the relief of having left the barn with Eliott, and having Eliott totally confident hugging him, he finally felt like he belonged. So, yes, he regrets it. But he would do the same thing again without hesitation. 

Line sends him several messages to reassure him, telling him that Eliott is sleeping and stressing that it is normal for him. Lucas rereads his last message with a smile on his face.

_Thank you so much,lucas. Thanks for being there for him._

Lucas would have loved to have proof that his parents loved him as much as eliot's mom loved him. It makes him sad and happy at the same time.   
He smiles as he searches for his words. He writes several messages that he erases and he send:

_Thank you for letting me meet him._

In other words, thank you for not listening to his father who wanted him committed in the mental hospital. He knows line understood what he meant when he got his answer.

_I could never bring myself to leave him alone._

Mondy, when Eliott gets on the bus, he looks tired. No, exhausted. He has large dark circles under his eyes. Lucas also knows that Eliott is only there so that he doesn't leave Lucas alone with the high school students. Otherwise he would have stayed home in bed. He knows that Elliot is making a superhuman effort to stand next to him.   
Basile changes places to let him sit next to Lucas. They spend the whole trip kissing. When the bus parks, Lucas wonders if the route has changed. It seemed to him that it had changed so quickly. But Basile laughs, telling him that he just had a good distraction. 

This time, Lucas is rather pleased to see the astonished faces of the other students when he enters the school huddled against Eliott. Before the first class, he kisses him, whispering an "I love you" before kissing him one last time. 

At lunchtime, while he's with the guys around a table, Lucas' heart tightens when he sees a girl looking at him. It's the brunette girl he saw on the video from the party. He wonders who in that canteen has already kissed his boyfriend. But he doesn't have time to think about it as Eliott puts a sweet kiss on her cheek.

''Hey there. Hi, guys." salutes Elliot, before you sit down. "Sorry about Friday. Did Lucas explain it to you?"

The boys nod their heads and Lucas looks at Elliot in amazement. 

"You told me not to tell anyone, Elliot. I promised you I wouldn't."

"I love you, Lucas," he says softly before he kisses him. He comes off the kiss too quickly for Lucas' taste and looks at the guys ''You must think I'm a real asshole.''

"We don't think anything" admits Arthur.

"Lucas told us you weren't an asshole, so we believe him," Basile continues.

Yann looks more dubious so he keeps silent with a frown.

Eliott leans over the table. The three boys lean towards him, understanding that he wants to talk to them in private, even if they are in the middle of a cafeteria.

''I'm bipolar,'' Eliott says softly, ''and in some manic episodes my inhibitions and libido become a little bit important. This is, of course, accentuated by alcohol and weed."

"Oh, fuck!" Basile lets go, "but that explains everything."

"Yeah," confirms Eliott. "It explains a lot, anyway."

"I'm proud of you," said Lucas, stroking his thigh. 

"Thank you. My new therapist says the first step is acceptance. And in order to accept it, I have to be able to talk about it."

"You should have no shame," says Basile, "especially not with us."

"I know," confirms Eliott. "Thanks, guys."

"Try to work out your libido just with your boyfriend next time," says Yann, smiling.

Lucas is so quick to accept that the whole table is laughing. He feels his cheeks turning red and Eliott can't help but kiss them before he kisses him.   
Lucas dares a glance at the other tables. Most of the students are looking at them. In the end, the hardest part of the whole story is the other people's eyes.   
Lucas points a finger at them as he kisses Eliott back. 

Fuck them. 

Until his uncle comes back, Lucas only sees Eliott at school and on the bus. He respects his punishment even if he would like to sneak off to see Eliott several times. He really misses finding Eliott at the lighthouse. But Elliot forbids it. Fortunately, Romain comes back on a Saturday morning. It is only 6.30 am but Lucas is waiting for him in the kitchen. After a long discussion about the past events, where Lucas reveals Eliott's illness to his uncle, with his uncle's agreement, Lucas is free to go out. 

He takes Benjamin's bike and pedals without to at Eliott's house. He knocks gently at the door and Line open.

''He's still sleeping. It's early, Lucas. Are you okay?"

Lucas smiles as he runs his hand through her hair.

''Very good. My punishment is lifted. Can I see Eliott?"

Line glugs and shifts to let him in, waving him up.

''I'm going shopping. Don't do anything stupid," she says before closing the door behind her. 

Eliott is indeed still asleep. It's a mountain of blankets. Lucas slowly approaches the bed and as if Eliott feels it, he opens his eyes. Elliot doesn't even flinch.

"Are you watching me sleep?"

Lucas nods his head and smiles.

"Are you allowed to be here?"

Lucas nods his head before crawling on the blankets to kiss his boyfriend.

"I missed you so much," Eliott whispers between kisses. 

Eliott lifts a corner of the blanket, waving at Lucas to join him. 

''Wait'' he says suddenly as Lucas is about to come under the blanket ''just so you know. I'm only wearing boxers."

Lucas laughs, stands by the bed and undresses as fast as he can, levelling with Elliot. Eliott bursts out laughing, which makes Lucas a lot less sure of himself. Lucas crosses his arms on his chest, blushing.

''Oh, my God,'' Eliott moans, ''you're so cute. That's not why I was saying that. Just to warn you that I'm not wearing a shirt. So you won't be shocked by my chest. I can wear a shirt if you'd prefer."

Lucas looks at him frowning.

"I hope you're kidding, Elliot." Then he looks down at his own body and blushes even more, "I thought you wanted" He bends over to grab his shirt, but Elliot pulls him under the covers.

''There's no way you're dressed better than I am,'' he says as he kisses him. 

Lucas' left hand is between their torsos and he feels Elliot reaching for his skin. Lucas steps back just as quickly, taking his hand away.

''I'm sorry. Does this hurt?"

Eliott sighs then takes Lucas' hand in his.

"No. It's just hideous and I'm not used to being touched."

Lucas slowly pulls the blanket down to reveal Elliot's torso. 

''It looks like a tree,'' he whispers as if to himself. But Elliot's grimace shows that he heard it. 

Lucas gently skims the base of the scar, just above Elliot's belly button, and moves all the way up to where the skin is the most blurred. From Eliott's sternum, several scars start as ramifications. Looks a lot like a tree. Eliott's left nipple looks like a star. The edges aren't round and smooth like the other one, but they're like little splinters.  
Lucas rolls Eliott on his back so he can straddle him and kisses him gently all the way along his scar. Eliott is tense but lets himself be.

"You are really beautiful," says Lucas, looking into Eliott's eyes.

''It makes me feel like a monster,'' says Eliott, lowering his eyes to his chest.

"You're really handsome," Lucas repeats, stroking Elliot's chest. "I can't believe you're mine."

Eliot smiles as Lucas kisses the base of his neck.

"I am."

And Eliot's lips catch Lucas' in a dirty, wet kiss. Their tongues play together until Lucas gently bites Eliot's lower lip. Elliot's hands caress Lucas' back, then reach down to his buttocks. With a firm motion, he pulls Lucas towards him so that their hips are even closer together. Their lengths are just brushing against each other, but just this slight contact makes them both moan. 

Lucas' phone starts ringing but the boys don't pay any attention. As he kisses her, Lucas' hand goes under Eliott's boxer shorts. As soon as he wraps his dick around it, Eliott lifts his pelvis and throws his head backwards while moaning.

"Fucking Lucas."

Lucas has a proud smile on his face. Eliott slides Lucas' boxer shorts to take them off and slides his hand between them to be able to caress him, following the same rhythm Lucas imposes on him. 

Lucas' phone starts ringing again and Eliott breaks the kiss.

"Answer it."

Lucas shakes his head and smiles.

''There's nothing to get me out of this bed right now.'' He kisses Elliot's neck and then looks at him again, laughing, "unless your mother comes."

And Elliot moans, "Don't talk about my mother now."

And he gently bites Lucas' lip before he kisses him again. In a fairly easy motion, he twists it so Lucas is on his back so he can get on top of him. He gently bites Lucas' neck, leaving some bruises, then rolls his hips so that their lengths touch. Lucas drops Eliott's cock and grabs the sheet on each side of his head, eyes half closed.   
After a few rubs, Eliott grabs both their dicks and strokes them together. It feels so good that after only a few movements Lucas opens his eyes and starts moaning louder.

"Fucking yes. Eliott. I'm going. I'm not going to hold."

Eliott kisses him on the neck, up to his ear and whispers softly ''come for me, baby. Come with me."

And then it's Eliott's turn to moan in a hoarse voice. That makes Lucas come immediately. Seeing Lucas so defeated and hearing him say Eliott in a huff makes Eliott crack and Eliott comes in turn before totally slumping over Lucas.

Their breathing calms down, and Eliott gently shifts to the side, so that he is still half on Lucas.

''I love you so much, Lucas,'' he whispers in his ear.

His breath tickles Lucas, who laughs before turning to him.

''I love you. That was so fucking good."

Eliott laughs and hugs Lucas' shoulder. 

''Shouldn't we clean this up?'' asks Lucas softly.

Eliott shrugs his shoulders. He doesn't want to move. And he's not bothered by the fact that he's a little sticky.

Lucas shrugs his shoulders in turn and twists to pick up the duvet to put it on them.

''You're right, who cares.''

And they both go to sleep peacefully.

It's Lucas' phone waking him up again. It's only been 20 minutes, but Lucas feels like he's been asleep for hours, he's been so good. He gently pushes Eliott's arm back so that he can go looking for his pants. Luckily he is right next to the bed and Lucas can catch him without leaving the warmth of the duvet. 

"Who is it?" Eliott asks, rubbing his eyes as Lucas watches his phone ring without touching the screen.

''It's my Dad.'' Lucas says as the call stops. He unlocks his phone. "It's his fourth missed call."

Lucas puts his phone on the bedside table and lies down in Elliot's arms. 

''Maybe it's important,'' said Eliott, stroking his arm.

Lucas shrugs his shoulders. 

''Maybe. I don't know if I want to talk to him. I haven't had him in over a year."

Eliott puts his arms around him and the sound of a text message startled them. He gets his phone and puts it between them so that Eliott can read his father's message at the same time.

_Lucas. I don't know if you're ignoring me or if you're just busy. I really need to talk to you. It's really important._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget my little comment ✍️❤️💔


	7. Old demons

Lucas sighs as he rereads the message. He hasn't talked to his father in so long. He tried to call him several times after his mother's suicide attempt, but he couldn't get through. His father never called him back. However, his father arranged with his uncle for him and Clem to come and live in Bretagne. But he never asked to speak to Lucas.. Lucas was really happy to come to his Marie and Romain's house and not go to his father's house, but he couldn't help but be disappointed that his father didn't even want to welcome his own children. Even though Lucas would never have wanted to go. Clearly, it's a contradiction, but that's just the way it is. While they were close, now they're complete strangers. 

He blinks his eyelids to bring down the tear that was forming in his eyes as Elliot strokes his back.

_I can't talk right now. What do you want?_

He presses his send and sighs again. The screen doesn't have time to darken as he receives his father's reply.

_I want to talk to you, Lucas._

His father calls him as Lucas is about to send him a message, so he unintentionally picks up. At the sound of his father's voice, he feels himself shrinking and huddling against Eliott who is wrapping his arms around him.

_Lucas? Can you hear me?_

"Yes, I hear you."

_I have news about you by your sister. She told me you were dating a guy. What's her story, Lucas? You're not gay._

Lucas is startled. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He comes out of Elliot's arms and gets up. He locks his phone to his shoulder and puts his boxer shorts back on before he sits back down, gathering all his courage. Elliot moves slowly towards him and strokes his lower back.

"If Daddy, I'm gay."

 _''No''_ his father's voice gets angry and Lucas imagines his face red with anger _''My son can't be a faggot. You're gonna open your eyes, Lucas. Liliane is expecting a baby. He won't have a gay half-brother, Lucas. You can't"_

Lucas doesn't even realize that it was Eliott who hung up the phone. He grabs the phone out of his hands and turns it off. Lucas still hasn't moved. Eliott puts his hand on Lucas' arm and it feels like an electric shock. Lucas gets up suddenly and runs, still in his boxer shorts, to the bathroom where he locks himself in. 

Eliott puts on his boxers in a hurry and knocks on the door begging Lucas.

''Please, baby, open. Please, open up for me. I love you, Lucas. Lucas answer me."

Eliott's really starting to freak out. He doesn't want to be the one to judge Lucas, but he knows what he's already done. What if he's hurting himself right behind that door? That thought is killing Elliot. He's pissed at himself. His mother wanted to change the locks so she could open it from the outside, but Eliott refused, not wanting to change everything because of his illness.

''Please, Lucas. Please talk to me. Please Just talk to me. Please don't hurt yourself."

Eliott hears a thud and feels the door vibrate. It's definitely Lucas' weight against the door.

''Lucas I'm sorry. If you don't talk now, I'm calling 911."

"No" sobbed Lucas in a small voice.

Eliott sits against the door. It is now certain that Lucas is sitting the same way with his back to the door.

''Tell me what I can do. Please."

''I don't know'' said Lucas before he started crying again. 

"Can you promise me you won't get hurt, please."

"I... I... I can't. I just can't do it. I deserve it. It's too hard."

Eliott feels the door vibrating again. Lucas had to get up. 

''You deserve love, Lucas. You deserve happiness. No one should judge you or our love. I love you, Lucas. I love you so much. You have been so good to me. You haven't judged me, not on my illness, not on my actions. Let me do the same. Let me help you. Don't let your father hurt you any more than he already has. He doesn't deserve it. If you love me, let me help you. If you hurt yourself, it's like you hurt me, Lucas."

Eliott immediately regrets saying that. But when he hears the sound of the lock, he swallows his regret and rushes to hold Lucas. Lucas's arms are red and have the nail marks he just inflicted on himself. Eliott looks at the razor thrown in a corner of the room. He quickly checks Lucas and can't help but feel relieved. Lucas has obviously fought a lot against his demons but he has not given in.

Eliott carries him back to his bed where Lucas takes refuge by crying and apologizing.

''Don't apologize, Lucas. You're doing the best you can. I'm right here, baby. I'm just right here."

Eliott tightens his grip. He's so worried about Lucas, he's having trouble breathing, but he can't listen to himself right now. When Lucas' little voice resonates, Eliott feels like he's breathing again.

"Do you believe in parallel universes?"

And Eliot shrugs his shoulders. Lucas still isn't looking at him, his head still against Eliot's chest. 

''I don't know. It's weird to imagine another version of myself, I guess."

Lucas is sniffing around.

''I'm thinking about it. A lot. I guess in another universe, my mom's okay. I think in another universe, maybe I've never been in the closet and I've been taking care of myself forever. And sometimes, I imagine a universe where I'm still living in Paris and you're the new guy. I imagine a universe where we grew up together, being best friends in the world before we revealed our feelings to each other. I like to imagine that only in this universe do I hurt myself so much. I'm so hoping the other Lucas are okay."

Eliott kisses lucas' hair.

"They're fine, Lucas. Because in every universe, there is an Eliott. And in every universe, they're there for each other. Forever. And in our world, you'll be fine, Lucas. I will always be there for you."

Lucas closes his eyes and nods. His breathing is calmer, and soon, Lucas falls asleep. After a few minutes, Eliott gets out of bed, gets dressed and leaves the room with his phone. 

He wakes Lucas up twenty minutes later. 

''Lucas, baby. I'm sorry. You got to get up. Your uncle's here."

Lucas is startled. He looks at his arms, which are always red and have multiple scratches, and then he looks at Elliot. Lucas doesn't look angry. He's hurt. Betrayed.

''How could you warn him? They're going to hospitalize me, too. I trusted you, Elliot. I didn't say anything about you."

Eliott sits down next to him and gently strokes his cheek.

''I love you, Lucas. I can't leave you like this. I didn't know what to do. I had to tell him. He loves you, Lucas. We want what's best for you."

Lucas holds back the tears that come to his eyes and nods.

''I'm sorry. I know you're doing the best you can with the mess I'm in. You can go, you know. If it's too much for you, I understand that."

Eliott wraps his arms around Lucas' shoulders and puts his forehead against his own.

''I'm not going anywhere, okay? We're gonna deal with this together. And it starts now. We're gonna go see your mom."

Lucas steps back to look him in the eye.

"What?"

''We're going to see your mom. Romain thinks it's the right thing to do. He's waiting to take you there. I'm going with you. I'd wait for you in the lobby, but I want to go with you. I want to be there for you, Lucas. Romain says it's gonna be okay, that your mommy's getting better. You're gonna go see her. Not necessarily to tell her you're gay. That's up to you when you want to tell her. But you're gonna spend some time with her, because your mother loves you and you need her to remind you."

Elliott gets up and brings in a pile of lucas' clean clothes. Lucas gets up in a hurry and puts them on.

''Eliott? Can I ask you a favor?" Lucas asks as they come down the stairs.

"Anything, baby."

Lucas seems hesitant but Eliott nods gently to him, indicating that he can tell him everything.

"Can we take your moto?" 

Eliott doesn't ask any questions but tells Romain as soon as he opens the door. Lucas is surprised that Marie is there too. His aunt should have been at work. She takes him in her arms and hugs him.   
Romain frowns at Eliott's request but nods. The boys leave by moto, followed by Romain's car. 

It's only a 45-minute drive from the village to the hospital. Lucas knows that. He came to see his mom just before school starts. But this time, the trip seems much too short. He hardly has time to calm down. And if his mother reacts badly. What if she says words to him that are even harsher than his father's.   
Eventually, it would be easier for Lucas to let go and fall off the moto, right? But that would mean letting go of Eliott. And that, Lucas can't. Plus, it would mean everyone crashing and Lucas can't be responsible for that. Responsible. That's what he has to be now. He's going to be an adult soon. He needs to be able to take responsibility for himself. 

When Lucas takes his helmet off while looking at the hospital, he sighs nervously. Eliott offers him his hand and Lucas sees that he is relieved when he grabbed it. The four of them walk to the reception and then Eliott sits down on one of the seats, telling Lucas that he will wait for him there. 

But Eliott is too stressed to wait without moving, so he walks down one of the hospital corridors. He discovers a large glass room, bathed in light, where dozens of paintings are hung. In the middle of the room, other paintings are drying on easels. He glances around and then enters the room to go around the different paintings.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Eliott is startled and turns around to discover a small, brown, rather frail woman sitting in a corner of the room, behind an easel.

"It's beautiful," Eliott confirms, looking at the paintings again.

"It's amazing what crazy people can do, isn't it?"

Eliott looks at her in shock and shrugs his shoulders.

''I don't think the people in the hospital are crazy. They're just people who need help. There's nothing wrong with needing help."

The young woman looks at him strangely before she smiles and reaches out her hand.

"Mathilde."

He narrows the space between them and shakes her hand.

"Eliott."

"You're here to see someone?" she asks, dipping her brush into the paint again before applying it to her painting.

"I'm going with my boyfriend who's visiting."

She looks at him, smiles and nods.

"That's really sweet. Nobody wants to come here unless they have to."

So Elliot shrugs his shoulders.

''I would do anything for him. He's there for me when I need him. So being here is the least I can do. Besides, it gives me a chance to discover all these treasures. And to meet you. I love everything about art."

"Do you draw?"

''Yes. Very much. It's my outlet. I'd like to go to art school next year."

Mathilde puts down her brushes and her palette.

"I discovered art therapy here. I like it very much. It's my outlet, too. I thought I sucked at everything, but it makes me pretty proud of myself."

"I can?" Eliott asks quietly as he points to the finished painting.

Mathilde nods her head as he approaches. The painting is an explosion of colour. Like a colourful firework. It is magnificent.

''Wow. It's beautiful. I love how the colors come together in the center of the picture as they explode around the edges."

Mathilde smiles at him and stands up, taking Elliot's arm to show him other paintings she has done.

"I have some more in my room, do you want to see?"

"Sure do. I'd love to."

"Won't your boyfriend be worried?"

And Elliot pulls out his phone and smiles.

"He'll text me. When I tell him I couldn't turn down a painting exhibition, he'll understand."

She strokes his arm.

''You two seem to be getting along very well. That's good. Love should always be like this."

Eliott nods his head and smiles. 

When Mathilde opens her bedroom door, Eliot immediately notices the sunset painting above her bed.

''Mathilde, it's really beautiful. I would love to hear about your paintings."

And Mathilde starts talking about how she decides to paint when her bedroom door opens. Eliott immediately recognizes the little brown boy going through the door. His excited heart recognizes him too.

''Mama. We've been looking all over for you. Elliot? What"

Eliott looks at Mathilde and then Lucas with round eyes and puts a hand in front of his mouth.

Mathilde looks at the two boys then a big smile fills her face.

''I guess you're going with my Lucas, actually.'' she says to Eliott.

Elliot nods and smiles. Mathilde gets up and crosses her room to take her son in her arms. Marie greets her sister and closes the door, announcing that they are going for a walk and that they are going to leave the three of them for a while.

''Lucas. I'm so happy to see you. " She laughs in front of her son's astonished expression "I was in art therapy and I met a very nice boy. We talked about the paintings. Your boyfriend's he's inexhaustible on the subject. As well as his love for you. I'm really happy for you, my son."

Lucas is snuggling up to her like a little boy. 

''I was afraid you wouldn't accept this. Mama. Dad doesn't accept it. He doesn't. I thought that..."

He motions him to be quiet and takes him in his arms and strokes his hair.

''My religion can't guide my heart. I know I say some very harsh things when I'm in crisis. But I could never deny you, my son. I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you stood up to your father. And I'm happy for you. Elliot is a lovely boy. And very handsome."

Elliot almost chokes on his own spit and coughs, which makes both mother and son laugh.

"He doesn't know," laughs Lucas.

"It just makes him more handsome," Mathilde laughs as she strokes her son's cheek.

Mathilde opens one of his cupboards and takes out three cups that she fills with coffee and then takes out a small painting that she gives to Lucas, telling him that she did it for him. They spend the rest of the visit talking about art, and a bit about high school. Mathilde walks them back to the parking lot before going to lunch. She smiles as she watches Lucas get on the moto behind Eliott. 

When Lucas thinks about what he wanted to do to himself only a few hours ago and what would have happened if Eliott hadn't convinced him to open that door. He greets his mother one last time, already looking forward to coming back in three weeks with Eliott, as they agreed. 

Lucas couldn't be happier. He's hugging Elliot's back with a smile. He already knows he's gonna ask her for a favor as soon as they get off the moto. Now lucas knows exactly what kind of tattoo he wants Eliot to draw for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me a little comment ✍️


	8. Epilogue

Lucas parks his moto in his usual place. He hasn't even turned off the engine as the building door opens, revealing a happy Eliott. Lucas turns the key and gets off the moto, hurrying to take off his helmet so he can kiss it. Lucas feels like it's been months since he has seen Eliott. As soon as Eliott's lips are on his, the weeks of separation are forgotten, as always. 

Eliott takes Lucas' hand in his and pulls him into his apartment. Lucas is more than happy to learn that they are alone. Eliott has been living as a roommate in Nantes since the beginning of the school year, eight months ago. He got accepted into his art school. In turn, every two weeks, they take the road between them and meet again for a week end. As well as during all the holidays. Eliott worked all summer to buy a motorcycle. His new moto is green. He offered his red motorcycle to Lucas for his 18th birthday, while their mothers, Romain and Marie, offered to pay for his motorcycle license.   
During the winter, Lucas used to borrow his uncle's car, but now that the sunny days are back, he is riding his motorcycle again. 

Eliott's lips are so soft. Lucas had really missed it. In two months, he'll be graduating high school. And in four months, after the holidays, he's moving in here with Elliot and his roommate. It's all set. Arthur and Basile will move to the same city, while Yann is moving to Rennes. 

But for the moment, Lucas is leaning against the corridor wall, his legs wrapped around his boyfriend's waist, who is holding him firmly by his buttocks while kissing him.

''I just forgot my phone, I'm just passing by.'' shouts Mika as she opens the apartment door and walks behind them. ''Don't stop for me. Hi, Lucas."

Lucas laughs and drops Eliott's lips.

"Hi, Mika."

Mika slams the door of his room and jokingly walks back behind the couple. He slaps Eliott's butt so hard that even Lucas feels it. If Lucas wasn't reassured at the idea of Eliott going to live alone in Nantes, he was even less reassured when they met Mika. He immediately announced that he was gay and that he intended to live without any taboo.  
At their first meeting, they found themselves talking about sex toys, without Lucas remembering how they got there. But he swore he wasn't getting enough sex from his roommates. he never did.  
And Lucas has blind faith in Eliott. Since he's been on his meds properly, and adjusted twice, the manic episodes have subsided. He's better at spotting them and controlling them. Mika was great during Eliott's first depressive episode in October. He immediately told Lucas who missed two days at school but came anyway until Elliot got better.   
That's when Lucas got to know him better. Since then, Mika considers Lucas as her gay little brother and has decided to teach him everything about the gay world. It's kind of funny. Lucas pretends to be bothered by Mika's uncomfortable side, but he thinks it's pretty cool. Most importantly, Mika's there to listen to Lucas, or Eliott, whenever they need to talk. He gives the impression that he's always cheerful and light-hearted, but he's a great support too.   
Two months ago, when Lucas got his admission results to nursing school, he proposed to Eliott to find an apartment for the two of them, but Mika immediately thought the idea was absurd, preferring to have them both as roommates. And Lucas liked the idea right away. And now he's just looking forward to living here full-time.

"Have fun," Mika yells as he slams the door.

"No doubt about it," whispered Eliott in a hoarse voice as he kissed Lucas' exposed neck. 

Lucas smiles and takes Eliott's lips against his own. Eliott takes him in his arms and carries him to his room, before throwing him on his bed and lying on top of him. 

"I missed you so much, baby," Eliott moans as he pulls Lucas' top over his head.

''I'm here now,'' says Lucas, freeing Eliott from his clothes. 

Soon they're both naked underneath Eliott's thick duvet. Making love to Elliot is just about the best thing on Earth. It's a concentrate of happiness. It's discovering new things and feeling at home at the same time.

Coming down from his high, Lucas huddles his head against Elliot's chest. It's his favorite place. His two arms are right between them and he smiles as he looks at the tattoo on his right wrist. He had almost forgotten.

"Would you draw me another tattoo?"

Eliott steps back so he can look Lucas in the eye. Lucas can see right away that Elliot is worried.

''It's all right, don't worry about it. I just had an idea."

Eliott strokes Lucas' right wrist with his thumb. He remembers exactly when Lucas explained to him what he wanted to draw. Eliott is pretty proud of that. Lucas looks down at his tattoo. He did it two months after his father called. When he's not well and he thinks about his father, or his half-brother that he'll never see, he looks at his tattoo and it helps him.  
Elliot's thumb goes through the infinite sign in the middle. He loves doing that. At first, Lucas just thought he'd get the infinity sign tattooed with _soulmates_ written in it. But Elliot offered him an even more symbolic design.   
There is the infinite sign with the inscription, but also two hearts, facing each other and crossing in the middle of the sign. That sums up exactly what Lucas wanted: a reminder that he and Eliott are soul mates, in all universes and forever.  
That way, when Lucas isn't well, he looks at his tattoo and Eliott's words automatically come back to him: ''If you hurt yourself, you hurt me too.''

''I wish we could get matching tattoos,'' says Lucas.

Silencing Elliot, he starts stuttering.

''You don't have to do that. That was a close one. Just a thought. Forget it."

So Eliott gets out of bed and rushes to his desk. He opens one drawer and then another and digs through several sheets. He finally retrieves one and jumps on his bed to join Lucas, who's laughing.

"I thought you'd never ask," laughs Eliott, showing him the different drawings he has imagined.

Lucas looks at him smiling and kisses him before he takes the paper in his hands.

"Why didn't you ask me, if you'd already thought of it?"

''I wanted it to come from you. It's a lifelong mark. And I know you can't say no to me, so if I'd offered, you would have said yes."

Lucas hits Eliott on the shoulder with the piece of paper.

"You're too sure of yourself, Eliott Demaury."

Eliott looks at him frowning.

''Okay. Yeah, I probably would've said yes. Because I love you."

''And I love you too.''


End file.
